The Misadventures of Jhin and Yasuo
by F0URCE
Summary: Yasuo is tasked with looking after everyone's favorite psychopath, Jhin. Naturally, arts, crafts, and tornadoes follow. Rated T for language. Cover image done by Mitzbehaven. (Currently having some rewrites done, thank you Rito for your Yasuo and Riven story)
1. Chapter 1: Blade Meets Bullet

Hello, everyone. This is a fanfic that I decided to create to fill that waiting period between the arcs of my other fanfic, 'Taric and Ahri's Dating Service'. Expect to see this get updated once an arc is finished, and don't expect to see it updated otherwise. Enjoy!

* * *

Yasuo stared hard at the woman across the table. When he had been summoned to High Councilor Vessaria Kolminye's office for a request, he didn't think that the request in question could ever be as ridiculous as this.

"Miss Vessaria," he began, leaning forward in his seat. "You do know just what you're asking me to do here, right?"

She returned the samurai's cold glare with an equally frigid one of her own. "Yes, Yasuo, I know precisely what I am asking you to do."

"Then that must mean," he growled. "That you are essentially asking me to babysit a psychotic murderer who happens to be the most wanted man in my country?"

She stared at him, unimpressed. "That's strange. I thought you were the most wanted man in Ionia. After all, the ruling council did pop the lock on Jhin's cell and stuck him in their little cabal." She smirked upon seeing the Unforgiven's bewildered look.

"Th-That's beside the point! All that matters is that he's completely insane and is likely to kill me within the first day of us knowing each other!"

"Don't be too alarmed, Yasuo. All I'm asking of you is to keep an eye on Jhin and make sure he doesn't try anything... Serious. I'll make sure that he brings no harm upon you whatsoever."

His eyes narrowed. "And that's supposed to comfort me? What benefit do I even gain from rooming with a monster like him?"

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" The High Councilor leaned across the table, a sly smile planted on her lips. "What we will be doing is launching an investigation on our part to find out your master's true murderer, and keep you protected while doing so." Her grin broadening upon seeing his shocked expression, she continued. "But of course, you, a proud samurai of Ionia, must clearly be bound by honor to find the true murderer on his own, with numerous attempts on his life on a daily bas-"

"Enough!" Yasuo yelled. He gritted his teeth. She had him right where she wanted and she knew it. True, he'd much rather redeem himself through his own strength, but the prospect of having his name cleared and finally being able to return home was just too good to pass up. No more assassination attempts. No more constantly looking over his back in bars. No sleepless nights with his sword under his futon. No more anything. He could once again walk among his brethren as one of them at last.

"You... Have a deal," he grudgingly replied. He glared venomously at Vessaria, who was obviously pleased with herself.

"Splendid. Go and pack your things, Yasuo. I want you in Jhin's room in half an hour."

* * *

Packing his things was never an issue for Yasuo. All he had was a bedroll, his wine flask, and most importantly, his sword. After all, it's not like a wandering samurai on the run had much need for the luxuries in life. Hell, being alive at the end of the day was a luxury in and of itself.

He stood in front of the door. It was like any other room in the Institute's dorms. However, he knew that whatever was beyond that door must be the home of the very picture of depravity and madness. With a deep breath, he struck the door three times with his knuckle.

"Once more!"

The sudden voice of the most twisted murderer in Ionia nearly made Yasuo jump. "E-Excuse me?"

He heard an exasperated sigh from the other side of the door. "Hit the door one more time."

The samurai reluctantly complied as he knocked on the wood a single time. The door swung open, revealing the Virtuoso standing before him. No matter how many times he looked at him, the smiling mask combined with his malevolent gaze never failed to send chills down Yasuo's spine.

"Hello there, Yasuo. I wasn't expecting you to be my new roommate." His tone gave away some hint of surprise. Yasuo noted that he'd probably have to catch onto those tells if he wanted to communicate with the masked man.

"...Same." He nodded at Jhin expectantly. "So, can I...?"

"But of course." The Virtuoso stood aside to make way, and the Unforgiven entered. He was surprised to see that the room didn't look like some twisted den of insanity, and instead looked like an average dorm room. A small bed of Demacian origin was tidily made and clean in the corner of the room, and the walls were decorated with various elaborate paintings which Yasuo was admittedly impressed by. A small kitchen setup was in another corner, and a small dining table with two chairs was nearby. The only thing that one could use to tell this was even Jhin's room was the small table on which his gun, Whisper, lay upon, with various odds and ends to maintain the weapon surrounding it.

"So, where do you intend to sleep?" Jhin asked, snapping Yasuo out of his reverie.

"Uh, the floor's just fine," he said, moving over to fairly unoccupied part of the room and unfurling his bedroll. Thing's seemed to be going along all right so far, Yasuo thought. Maybe he should at least try and start a conversation?

"So, uh, you get into any matches today?" He asked, eliciting a somewhat surprised gesture of Jhin's head. This tell-reading thing might come easier than he expected.

"Since you happened to ask, I did, as a matter of fact. Went middle lane against that plant champion." Yasuo nodded. Was he talking about Zyra? Maokai, maybe? As he tried figuring out who he was talking about, his thoughts soon wandered the masked man in front of him. Was this even Jhin? The man in front of him seemed too polite, too sane to be the murderous criminal formerly known as the Golden Devil.

"And?" Jhin suddenly broke out into a raucous fit of laughter, making Yasuo jump. The samurai sadly noted that this was, indeed, Jhin, and not someone else.

"Oh, you should have seen it!" He guffawed. "Zyra couldn't touch me once with her roots! She couldn't even last two seconds once I bought my Infinity Edge!" Yasuo began to back away slowly, clearly perturbed by the outburst.

"I made her into art! Into poetry! A fine noose of thorns for her corpse, her arms entwined around the shriveled husks of her plants! Ohhh..." Jhin sank to his knees as he moaned in euphoria. Yasuo pressed himself against the wall, mortified at the words and sounds coming out of his mouth.

"It was beauty itself."

Yasuo decided that he had made a great mistake agreeing to Vessaria's demands. To hell with her investigation. He'd much rather keep looking over his back every two minutes than spend another second with this monster.

"Uh, I've... Got to see the High Councilor. U-Urgent business." He began to inch towards the door, praying that he wouldn't be accosted.

"Of course. It's not right to keep her waiting." He waved to the door, and with a rushed word of thanks, slipped out of the door, trying his best not to break out into a sprint.

* * *

Yasuo sighed as he walked down the courtyard's pavement. The evening sun seemed close to setting as the orange light bathing the courtyard slowly faded. Yasuo mulled over the events of the day in silence.

There was no way he could ever go back to that room. What was he thinking when he took up Vessaria's request? He set off down the path that led to the High Councilor's office, eager to drop his little job as soon as possible.

He spotted Master Yi walking towards him, and he raised a hand in greeting, which was reciprocated. The two swordsmen had a little rivalry in regards to whose style of Ionian swordsmanship was better, but both respected the other for being the master of his respective form.

"Hello, Yasuo. You appear to be troubled." Yi said, clearly noticing his furrowed brow. Yasuo sighed.

"Tell me about it. Vessaria made me go and babysit Jhin." After seeing Yi's shocked expression, he continued. "I was just headed over there to drop this damn assignment."

The Wuju Bladesman stroked his goatee thoughtfully. "True, looking after a man of Jhin's character must be no easy task..." Sensing Yasuo's impending objection, he continued. "However, I've heard that he is actually quite harmless off the Fields of Justice."

Yasuo scoffed. "And who did you hear this from? Everyone's most trustworthy mage, LeBlanc?"

Yi let a smile play about his lips. "Lulu."

Yasuo froze. Lulu may be a bit odd, but she hadn't a single lying bone in her body. "Bullshit."

Yi chuckled. "It's true. Poor girl's flowers withered, and Jhin happened to be strolling on by as she was sobbing. Handed her a small collection of lotuses to raise."

"I bet they were one of those infernal mines," Yasuo huffed.

Another chuckle. "I feel you're grasping at straws here, my friend. No, these were genuine Ionian lotuses. Close to my old village, in fact. And not a speck of gunpowder to be found."

The samurai stood, speechless. What could make the most twisted murderer of a nation ever give flowers to a small child? "Did she... tell you the reason? Why he would do that?"

Yi looked up thoughtfully. "Ah, yes, she told me she had indeed asked why he'd do such a thing. The reply was something to do with how 'a child's smile holds great beauty.' Jhin will be Jhin, that is for certain."

Yasuo stood in front of the swordsman, deep in thought. Was Jhin as big of a threat as he thought he was? Could he be trusted? He hadn't done anything to him so far, and by the looks of it, anything to anyone in the Institute either. But his demeanor on the battlefield, and the murders...

Yi laid a hand on Yasuo's shoulder. "Give it a try. If things still don't work out, then you should and meet the High Councilor." With a quick goodbye, Yi was gone.

Yasuo sighed. Maybe. Maybe the master of Wuju was right. As he turned around, he decided. One more day. If things weren't looking up by the end of 24 hours, he'd end this farce right then and there.

* * *

As Yasuo opened the door, he was greeted with a grievous sight.

Jhin lay upon the ground, clutching his stomach tightly. His body appeared to be contorted with pain. Yasuo rushed to his side.

"Jhin?! What the hell happened to you?!" Yasuo yelled. Jhin raised a shaking hand and pointed at the table.

"What's on the tab-huh?" Hearing a few gagging noises, the samurai ditched he psychopath on the floor and scrambled away, just in time to avoid a torrent of vomit from underneath the Virtuoso's mask.

His nose wrinkled in revulsion, he made his way to the table. A half-eaten piece of food sat on a plate. Yasuo recognized it as a Top-Tart, a snack from the Institute which was endorsed by various top-lane champions of the League. He stared at the plate, confused. The thing had never done anything to him before. Maybe Jhin was allergic?

He looked closely, and noticed that there were multiple wrappers on the table. Four of them. Yasuo facepalmed as he realized that Jhin had tried to take four Top-Tarts in one sitting.

As he watched the wretch of a man writhing on the ground, he silently wondered whether the Virtuoso was a utter fool, or a complete genius for evading the authorities for so long. Sure, they hadn't caught him either, but he could command the wind itself to cut any soldiers to ribbons. Jhin was a man who had gotten sick off a goddamn kid's meal. He felt himself beginning to doubt the ruling body's competence as he walked over to the convulsing Jhin.

"Alright, come on," Yasuo grunted, lifting the vomiting man to his feet, taking care not to touch any puke on his clothes. He half-dragged Jhin to the bathroom, and after setting his head over the toilet, stood outside as he finished purging his Top-Tarts. When the retching noises seemed to die down, Yasuo cautiously peeked into the bathroom.

"Hey, you finished in-"

A loud snore reverberated off the bathroom walls. Yasuo shut his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"Shit."

Shutting the door, he gingerly plucked off Jhin's clothes, praying that nobody would stroll into the dorm uninvited. Leaving his underwear and mask, he tried not to star at his near-naked body as he dragged him under the shower and turned on the water. Yasuo silently wondered how the sudden stream of water hadn't woken the snoring psychopath.

After he looked and smelled clean enough, he dried him off with a towel and dragged him off to the bed, depositing him in a somewhat wet heap on the sheets. After tiredly staring at his handiwork a little longer, he finally trudged over to his bedroll and collapsed, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Yasuo woke to the smell of cooking bacon. As he got up, he saw Jhin at the kitchen, fully clothed and preparing breakfast. The Virtuoso raised a hand in greeting, and the samurai groggily returned the gesture.

"Good morning. Yasuo." Yasuo grunted in response as he pulled himself to his feet.

"You better now?" Yasuo wearily asked, trudging to the table.

"Quite, yes. I honestly did make a mistake yesterday with those Top-Tarts."

"Tell me about it," Yasuo said, dropping into a chair. Jhin continued making the meal, before turning around.

"Yasuo?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for looking after me yesterday."

Yasuo stared at him. Did Jhin really say that? Did the most psychotic freak in all of Ionia really just thank him?

"Uh, It was no big deal..." Yasuo muttered.

Putting the eggs and bacon on plates, he walked to the table. "It was quite a big deal in my eyes."

"Which is why I made you this."

Jhin picked a small scroll off the table which Yasuo hadn't seen earlier and handed it to the samurai. Perplexed, Yasuo opened it.

A painting.

A beautiful painting drawn in the traditional style of Ionia, it featured a young, ponytailed man wielding a sword. The man was honing his skills with the blade as he danced gracefully through currents of wind, creating a swirling vortex of leaves around him as he perfected his form. Yasuo stared at the work of art, speechless.

It was him.

It brought back memories of his youth. Days when he was happier. Days which he longed for once again. Putting the painting down, he turned to the masked man.

"Thank you. It... Means a lot to me."

"Please. It was the least I could do to repay you."

Yasuo smiled. Whether Jhin was smiling as well behind his mask, he couldn't tell. But what mattered was that in spite of all of Jhin's eccentricities, his madness, and his bloodlust, he may have found someone that he could one day call a friend.

* * *

Well, that's it, then. This took my quite a bit of time to make. I mainly created this to do something while waiting for more suggestions to come in for 'Taric and Ahri's Dating Service,' and now that I have a few ideas to work with, I'm ready to go and work on the second arc.

In regards to this fic, I thought that throwing one of the most eccentric and crazy characters with one of the most down-to-earth ones would be decent material for filler material between my arcs. I decided on Jhin and Yasuo, since I love both of them (Even though I'm complete trash with Yasuo). Anyway, I'll see you again in about three days when TaADS is updated. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2: Get Dunked

"Hey, Jhin?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you heard of that Piltover-Noxus basketball game that's happening this evening?"

Yasuo looked up from his morning paper expectantly. His serial killer roommate was in his standard attire, aside from the 'Kill the Cook' apron as he made breakfast. Yasuo wondered where he had even gotten the thing.

"Since when did a wanted man have time for sports?" Jhin questioned, as he set down two glasses of orange juice on the table.

"Never, really. All I know is that every champion in the League will be there."

Jhin raised an unseen eyebrow. "Every champion?"

"Every champion."

"Every champion?"

Yasuo looked at him, annoyed. "Yes, Jhin. When I say 'every champion', that means-" The samurai froze. Then, he groaned as he slumped over the table.

Jhin raised a hand to his mask in thought. "That must mean all of our Ionian friends will be there to give us a warm welcome."

Yasuo looked up peevishly. "And either kill us or drag us home in chains." Everyone was after the disgraced wanderer. Everyone. The Ionian council. The militia. Even the Kinkou wanted his head.

Jhin chuckled maliciously. "Ah, I can make artwork of Kusho's stooges at last... It shall be my magnum opus, yes, yes it will..." Yasuo stared at him, perturbed. What were even Irelia and Karma even doing while the Cabal set this freak loose?

* * *

"Plus four! Ha!" Kennen triumphantly raised the card for all in the circle to see.

Irelia stood, enraged. One more card and the game would have been hers. Biting back scathing curses towards the Yordle ninja, she sat back down and angrily drew the four cards from the top of the deck.

"Oooh, tough luck there, Irelia." Akali said, chuckling.

"Maybe next time, my lady," Shen said quietly.

"I want to go back to work! I don't even want know what could be happening while I'm playing Uno with you guys!" Irelia looked at her countrymen imploringly.

Karma laughed gently. "Settle down, my friend. The game hasn't even lasted fifteen minutes. What could possibly go wrong?"

* * *

At least, that's how Yasuo liked to think of it. His attention returned to the matter at hand.

"Forget it. We can't hurt any other League member, remem-" Yasuo slapped his forehead, realizing his idiocy.

"Oh... If we can't hurt them, they can't hurt us either. God, I am such an idiot..."

"So... No artwork, or...?"

"No artwork, Jhin. Save it for the Rift."

"Awww..." If Jhin's mask was off, Yasuo would have seen him pouting.

"Well, if going won't get either of us clapped in irons or killed, then there's no harm in going. After all, it's not like we have better things to do."

Jhin shrugged as he set down two plates of bacon and eggs. "True. I might find some inspiration from this sport, in fact."

"Sounds good, then. I'll go and get us some tickets." Yasuo stood to leave.

At least, that was his plan before he was staring down the barrel of Jhin's gun.

"...Jhin?" Yasuo asked, beginning to panic. His sword was sitting by his bedroll, out of reach. He had no way to defend himself.

Jhin leaned in, his face inches from the sweating wanderer's. Yasuo began to shiver as he stared into the dark pits of Jhin's eyes, thinking of whatever spine-chilling line he would say before pulling the trigger.

"After breakfast."

* * *

Yasuo stared onto the empty court, bored out of his mind.

He had taken a slight amount of effort with his appearance that evening, after deciding that his usual armor would be unsuitable. He had taken a shower and shaved earlier, at Jhin's coaxing (gun in his hand or otherwise). He was wearing his hair down for a change, and Taliyah's ribbon was wrapped around his wrist instead. As for clothes, he wore a simple getup of sweatpants, T-shirt, and hoodie, along with a pair of sandals. And as always, his sword was tied to his waist.

"When did they say the game would start again?"

Jhin turned and shrugged. He had come in his usual outfit, gun and cane and all. "6 o'clock, if I'm not mistaken."

Yasuo peered at a clock on the sidelines which read 5:55. He groaned, and looked around the rest of the stadium idly. True to form, everyone seemed to be there. Azir was sitting with Nasus and Sivir, Annie and Amumu were digging into a box of popcorn, and Lulu was goading Veigar into eating a cupcake she made. All in all, an average day at the institute.

"LADIEEES AND GENTLEMEEEEEN!" The voice of a certain obnoxious Noxian boomed throughout the building, making everyone clap their hands over their ears.

"Today's our historic Piltover-Noxus basketball game! I mean, why else would you folks be here, if it wasn't to look at my charming face, eh?" Draven was on the mic in the commentary booth, his signature shit-eating grin on his face, garbed in his Primetime suit. Numerous champions, particularly the women, glared at him. Yasuo saw Jhin cringing next to him.

"Anyway, I'm your host, DRAAAAVEEENNN-" Yasuo thought that Jhin would crush the armrests any second now - "And welcome to, the one, the only, LEAGUE OF DRAVEEE-"

A figure suddenly clubbed him across the back of the head, making the executioner slump across the table. The figure revealed itself to one of Azir's Sand Soldiers, which everyone gawked at in confusion. In a flash, the Emperor dashed to the resurrected warrior, startling the two champions at his side. The Ascended Shuriman picked up the mic.

"Mortals and non-mortals! The game has begun!" Azir crowed, eliciting a half-hearted cheer from the crowd, who were still confused about why Azir of all people was being the emcee. Sivir sunk into her seat, trying to avoid the stares of numerous champions around her. Taliyah huffed and crossed her arms.

"On the Noxus side, we have... er..." Azir loked over to Nasus, who was making bizarre gestures which only seemed known to Azir himself. The Emperor cleared his avian throat before picking up and scrutinizing a sheet of paper on the table.

"LeBlanc, everyone's favorite trickster, as Point Guard!" LeBlanc appeared in a puff of smoke, smiling smugly at the crowd. She was wearing the traditional red of the Noxian jersey.

"Urg-Ur... errr... As shooting guard?" Urgot clanked onto the court, an incredibly loose and poor-fitting jersey on him, obviously annoyed that his name was forgotten.

"Our most sinister of blades, Katarina, as small forward!" Katarina walked out, her hand raised triumphantly. Garen shifted nervously in his seat, his face slightly red.

"As power forward, we've got Sion!" Sion ominously lumbered into view, his face contorted in a grimace.

"And finally, the head of the team, the, 'star player and big bro, second only to me'..." Azir glanced reproachfully at the limp form of Draven. "Is our center, DUNKMASTER DARIUS!"

The crowd went wild as the Noxian basketball star strode out onto the court, arms raised in an obvious gesture of power. Azir looked out onto the crowd, satisfied, before squinting back onto the paper. Long after the crowd's applause died down, Azir found what he was looking for.

"So for Piltover, there is... Caitlyn, the Piltover sheriff, as point guard!" Caitlyn walked onto the court, looking bored as always while clad in the signature orange basketball jersey of Piltover.

"And now... Twink, as shooting guard?" The crowd fell silent. Azir looked around at the audience, confused, and then back to the paper in his hand. "Who is 'Twink?' Sivir? Sivir, who and what is this 'Twink?'" Sivir groaned and tried curling up into a ball out of shame, as Nasus gave her a few pats on the shoulder. Ezreal walked out, just as confused at his apparent title as the bird emperor on the mic.

"Orianna, one of the best ball-handlers in the League, as small forward!" Numerous champions shifted uncomfortably at the unintentional innuendo, while Ahri and Syndra huffed. Orianna pirouetted onto the court.

"Jayce, power-slammer extraordinaire, as center!" Jayce strolled out, winking at the audience as they (particularly the women) cheered.

"And finally, the captain and power forward, dunker of criminals, is VI!" Vi jogged onto the court amidst the cheers and roars of the crowd.

"And now, the moment you have been waiting for, LET THE GAME COMMENCE!" A jet of sand shot out of the booth as the crowd exploded into wild cheers and wilder roars.

The ten champions took their places. Twisted Fate smirked as he strode onto the court as the referee. In the center, in front of the captains of each team, he let loose a shrill whistle before flinging the ball sky high.

The game was in session.

* * *

Jhin and Yasuo watched the game with interest as the two teams gave it their all. The score was almost always tied. Caitlyn and LeBlanc were driving each team with varied plans of attack as the playmakers. Urgot, and Ezreal (who Azir was still calling 'Twink') were sinking almost every shot for their respective teams. Katarina and Orianna almost seemed to dance through the opposition (which was applauded by Garen and Viktor respectively). Jayce and Sion were doing all they could as the forced their way through the enemy team for a sick layup.

And Vi and Darius were handing out dunks like there was no tomorrow.

Yasuo leaned back in his seat, satisfied. He was having fun, he didn't need to worry about any assassination attempts, and the serial killer he was in charge of was 100% harmless at the moment. All in all, it wasn't as though anything could go wrong.

Unfortunately for the unsuspecting samurai, he was about to be proven wrong.

Draven woke up, and enraged that his spotlight was stolen, began attacking the bewildered Azir. A Sand Soldier rose in the audience, terrifying Annie and causing her to set Zyra on fire. A screaming Zyra then caused a multitude of vines to tear open the court. Sion fell over, and Vi fell onto him. The two flew into a rage and began to wrestle on the destroyed court, and Olaf and Pantheon leapt down, eager for a taste of combat. Twisted Fate tried throwing his gold card, but was brained by a stray basketball and sent the shining card to Graves, who interpreted this as an act of war and began firing his shotgun in a fury, sending everyone either running for cover or joining the melee. Jinx began raining down a hail bullets and rockets, delighting in the anarchy. Soon enough, the entire stadium had gone to hell.

Yasuo groaned as the chaos unfolded below him. Jhin lay a hand on his shoulder. "What does that terrorist girl say again? Ah, yes, you jinxed it. Hehe, jinxed..." Yasuo groaned again at the terrible pun. He looked out onto the throng, trying to cook up some plan to fix things.

"Yasuo!" The Unforgiven turned to see Taliyah and Malphite forcing their way to the two roommates. The gears in Yasuo's head began to turn. Yes. Yes, this could work out.

"You seem to have a plan." Yasuo turned to see Jhin looking at him expectantly. His gun was fully assembled and loaded.

The samurai chuckled as he tied his hair up. "Oh yeah."

After a quick huddle, they moved.

Jhin began firing at the fringes of the melee, corralling them backwards. Taliyah summoned a massive wall that blocked off their escape. Azir, managing to see what the four were doing, wrenched off a livid Draven and flung him into the brawling crowd, conjuring a wall of his own with Sand Soldiers to box them in. The combatants were right where they wanted them. Malphite charged in with a roar, knocking every single champion in the fight sky high. Their expressions turned from rage to shock, and then to dread as they saw Yasuo floating among them, and realized what was to come as he readied his sheathed sword.

" _ **SORYE GE TON!**_ "

His form flickered as he dashed to champion to champion, striking them all without mercy as he clubbed them into submission with his holstered blade. He finally ended it with a final strike, sending all of them crashing to the ground. When the dust settled, everyone was lying on the ground, groaning in pain and covered with purple bruises. The fight was over.

Taliyah sunk to her knees from exhaustion, and Azir slumped onto the table, just as tired. Malphite got the young girl to her feet, testing if she could walk. Jhin nonchalantly dissassembled his rifle, as if he was unaware of the massive melee that just took place. Yasuo sighed and tied his sword back to his waist.

"Looks like we're done."

* * *

"Now, the property damage you all have wrought _is_ significant, given your natures," Vessaria gestured idly to the five champions. Taliyah looked down and kicked her feet in embarrassment. Azir and Jhin huffed, failing to find the faults in their intervention. Malphite and Yasuo shrugged.

"But since you did stop a great deal more of destruction, I suppose I can let this slide." Yasuo let out a breath. No paying bills for him that day, fortunately.

"You are free to leave." The five turned to go.

"Yasuo? A word, please."

Yasuo groaned and turned back. Taliyah looked at him, concerned, before continuing out of the High Councilor's office with the other three.

"What do you want?"

"Just an opinion." Vessaria chuckled as she looked at the annoyed warrior in front of her. "How's Jhin treating you?"

Yasuo sighed and scratched the back of his head. "He's weird, crazy, and insane, that's a given." He looked Vessaria in the eye.

"But he's not all bad."

Vessaria smiled. "Nice to hear that you're enjoying your little assignment." She chuckled when she saw the Unforgiven scowl. "Anyway, that's all I wanted to hear. Get going."

Yasuo shook his head and turned to leave. Oddly enough, talking with the woman seemed to give him more headaches than dealing with any of Jhin's antics.

He smiled as he decided that it was quite odd indeed.

* * *

Done.

I got the idea for this chapter from an anime called Kuroko no Basket which I enjoyed quite a bit. If you like basketball and anime, that show is just for you.

I've also gotten the idea for a fic of Azir, and his misadventures of being an embarrassing and socially awkward dad to Sivir. I might work on that sometime soon.

Anyway, Chapter 4 of Taric and Ahri's Dating Service is on its way, so stay tuned. Thank you all once again for reading, and be sure to leave a review. See ya!


	3. Chapter 3: The League-Over

"Huh? Guy's night out?"

Yasuo and Jhin stared curiously across the mess hall table at Twisted Fate, who had his signature smug smile on his face.

"You heard right. Every now and then, me and few other folks get together at Gragas' place for a good drink. And you boys look like you can handle your alcohol."

"Might I ask who'd be accompanying us on this trip?" Jhin leaned across the table, and Yasuo had suspicions that the question wasn't made out of a common sense of goodwill.

"Let's see... You two, me, Garen, Tryn, Jax, my buddy Graves, Talon, Jayce, and Ez."

The list of champions had the samurai skeptical. "Ezreal? That guy seems like a lightweight at best. And I thought Garen saw drinking as 'un-Demacian?'"

Twisted Fate chuckled. "Little guy would give us a laugh after he got drunk off his ass. And Garen's actually being made to come by his sister. Something about how he needs to take a load off or something."

The gambler leaned forward, chin resting on an intertwined net of fingers. The smirk never left his face. "So, what do you two say?"

The assassin and wanderer shared a look. Yasuo was always fond of drinking alone, but he still knew that the best thing to do with drinks was to share it with friends and comrades. And Jhin was curious about the concept of a 'guy's night out,' thinking it could give him inspiration for his next piece of art, whether it was done with a paintbrush or a gun.

"Well then, I can't really turn down a free drink, now, can I?" Yasuo leaned back in his chair, smiling.

"This 'guy's night out' has intrigued me. So I suppose I shall come."

The card shark chuckled and tipped his hat. "Good to hear that, fellas. I'll be seeing you two tomorrow night." The gambler got up and left the roommates at their table, who were now contemplating what they were going to wear.

* * *

"Ho-ho, looks like I'm going to have a particularly good evening with you folks here!" Gragas took one look at the bizarre group of men before throwing his head back and laughing.

The men who'd walked into Gragas' tavern could only be described as well, _off_. After all, there was a Ionian fugitive, an art-obsessed serial killer, an infamous gambler, a shotgun-wielding outlaw, a Demacian general, an undefeated brawler, a Froljordian barbarian king, a spelunker, a handsome hero, and a Noxian assassin.

Yasuo's hair was down and the ribbon was on his wrist again, and he wore his standard casual garb, sword included. Jhin had actually worn something else, and had come in a polo, khakis, and loafers. The only thing that could mark him as the Golden Devil he was known as was his mask, his cane, and his gun.

 _Off, indeed,_ the roommates thought, looking around at the champions that come along.

The two con-men hadn't bothered to change for the evening, as did Jax or Tryndamere. The two Piltovians had come in their sharp Debonair attire. Garen had worn a blue polo with Demacia's crest in yellow print, cargo shorts, and sandals. The uncomfortable Demacian was glaring daggers at an indifferent Talon, who had his trademark cloak over a T-shirt and sweatpants, with sneakers on his feet.

Overall, the absurd assortment of champions had clearly prepared for the night.

Gragas escorted them to a room which Twisted Fate had reserved earlier, and the everyone ordered their drinks around a large round table. Everyone ordered beer and ale, with the exception of Jhin and Yasuo, who asked for red wine and Ionian sake.

"You two sure you don't want what your friends are getting? I'm trying something special today with 'em." Gragas raised an eyebrow at the roommates' request.

"No thanks, Gragas. I'm not too fond of beer or ale," Yasuo said.

Jhin nodded in agreement. "I prefer lighter kinds of alcohol. So I'll pass."

Gragas sighed. "You boys are missing out, but the customer is always right..." The Rabble Rouser leaned out of the door. "Oi! A load of beer and ale, and some red wine and Ionian sake! Get to it!"

The group of champions heard fervent scurrying outside, until a small waiter walked in, a massive tray with numerous tankards of ale and beer on it. Yasuo and Jhin were pleased to see their drinks were also present.

Gragas took the tray from the winded waiter and put it down on the table, laughing as he saw the expressions of awe from his customers. "Well, there ya go! I'll check on you boys in the morning, so until then, drink, and be merry!" With a final laugh, he shut the door behind him, leaving the ten men alone with their alcohol.

"Well then," Twisted Fate said, grasping the handle to a tankard and standing. "You heard our buddy Gragas, didn't you?" The rest of them rose, grasping their tankards and bottles as well.

"And in case you forgot, I'll repeat: **EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERRY!** " Eight tankards, a sake flask, and a wine bottle collided amidst laughter as the night of drinking and merriment officially began.

* * *

The roommates were able to see true drunkenness of their companions by midnight.

It wasn't as thought they weren't affected by their own drinks. Yasuo felt his vision blurring, and Jhin was growing more sluggish with each sip through the slit in his mask. However, everyone else was outright wasted.

Ezreal was lying in the corner, periodically hiccupping, barely able to even move in his drunken stupor. A belching Tryndamere had an arm around a groaning Talon, regaling him with a tale of how one of his dates with Ashe went horribly wrong when Sejuani attacked them. Jayce and Graves had their arms around each others shoulders, singing a bizarre song about Orianna and buckshot. Jax was pole dancing with his lamp post. Garen was swaying side to side, his shirt soaked with beer and sweat, and Twisted Fate was pouring himself yet another drink, chuckling weakly to himself.

"Jhin... didn't Gragas say he... tried something new? With the beer and ale?" Yasuo said, groggily refilling his flask.

"I... believe so? Perhaps that is why... everyone is so..." Jhin took a sip from his cup, and his head fell against the table as he drifted into unconsciousness.

"Wuh? Jhin? What..." Yasuo saw that the Virtuoso's cup had golden beer in it instead of wine. Weird, he thought, taking another sip.

It tasted different.

 _Wait... I took the refill from the right bottle, right?_ The wanderer turned the bottle around, and was greeted with a picture of a smiling Gragas with the words 'Graggy Ice' under it.

It was the beer.

Yasuo felt his vision going dark around the edges as he slumped against the table, cursing. _Not... like this,_ the wanderer thought, struggling to keep his eyes open. His fight to stay awake was a futile one, as the darkness soon flooded his vision, and put the samurai to sleep.

* * *

The rays of the morning sun was what woke Yasuo up the next day.

Yasuo blinked as he slowly sat up. His head throbbed lightly, and he looked around to try and find out where he was. By the looks of it, it seemed to be a room one would find in a tavern.

 _A tavern? Wait, yeah, I was drinking with the others last night. I was up till midnight, and then I drank the wrong alcohol, and then... huh?_

The rest of the night was a complete blank. Try as he might, Yasuo couldn't recall a single thing after drinking the beer.

 _I'll figure it out later,_ he decided. He smelt alcohol, and found that it was coming from a pile of clothes in the corner. Oddly enough, his hoodie was poking out of it. He then realized that he was completely naked.

 _Okay, this is getting scary._ He nervously looked at a small table on the side of the bed, and let out a sigh of relief as he saw his katana. He grasped the hilt and brought it up to him, instantly being calmed as he ran his hand over the scabbard. He heard the clack of the sheath as he felt it touch something solid on the other side of the bed. Curious, he turned to look.

It was Jhin's mask.

Dread soon filled Yasuo as he whipped his head over to the pile of clothes, and spotted the leg of a pair of khakis amid the garments on the floor. He saw another table on the other side, and saw Jhin's gun and cane.

And a lump underneath the blanket which the mask was resting on began to stir.

With the most un-manly scream he ever made, Yasuo tumbled out of the bed and drew his sword. He saw one end of the blanket begin to rise, and a hand poked out from under the folds.

"Nnnh... Yasuo? What are you screaming-" The lump that had Jhin's voice froze as the mask fell in front of it. With a scream that rivaled Yasuo's in sheer girliness, a body rolled out onto the other end of the bed, one hand clutching the mask. Another reached up and grabbed Whisper, and Jhin's head popped up from the other side, one hand holding up his mask and the other brandishing his gun in a quivering hand. By the looks of it, he was in the nude as well.

 **"YOU..."** Jhin seethed, murder in his eyes. **"YOU SAW ME... MY FACE..."**

 **"WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FACE?! WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING IN BED WITH ME!"** Yasuo yelled, glaring at the psychopath.

 **"DO I LOOK LIKE THAT TACKY TARGONIAN TO YOU? WHY WOULD _I_ GET INTO BED WITH _YOU?_ "**

 **"THEN EXPLAIN WHY WE'RE IN THE SAME BED WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES ON!"**

 **"BECAUSE...** because... hm?" Jhin lowered his gun, confusion replacing the rage that was once in his eyes.

"Wait... You can't remember anything either?"

"It... seems so."

"Then... what happ-" Yasuo was interrupted as the door burst open, revealing a sweating Gragas.

"Oh, thank the gods you two are awake, I really need your-"

"Gragas," Yasuo said, cutting the massive man off. "What happened? Why can't either of us remember anything? And why are our clothes off?"

Gragas sighed, wiping the sweat off his brow. "I'll explain everything downstairs. For now, just take a shower and wear these. And make it quick." He tossed two sets of clothes and towels at the roommates, who grabbed them, confused. The Rabble Rouser went on his way in a hurry. Yasuo and Jhin traded a look, before ducking down and wrapping the towels around their waists.

"Well... I'll go to another room." Jhin stood and moved for the door. "And Yasuo..." The Virtuoso turned to face the wanderer. "You really didn't see my face, right?"

"No. I didn't see it."

Jhin slowly nodded, before turning to leave. "Good... Thank you." The Virtuoso left with his belongings in his hands, closing the door behind him. Yasuo looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

Why did this always happen to him?

* * *

When the two roommates had finished showering and changing into their oversized clothes, they went downstairs, where they were greeted with an apologetic Gragas addressing three women.

The women in question were a worried Ashe, and irate Vi, and a bawling Lux.

The two heard Ashe speak first. "So you didn't find him in the morning? Or any of them, for that matter?"

"Yeah, what gives?! I thought this place was supposed to be safe!" Vi folded her gauntleted hands across her chest, glaring.

"Ez-Ezreal... Where are you...?" Lux had tears streaming down her cheeks and was sniffing.

"What happened here?" Jhin mused. Yasuo shrugged.

"Like I said, ladies, I'm sorry. We're trying to find them, but-" Gragas looked up at the stairs, and rushed to the Ionians the second he saw them. "Finished, then? Come here, I have explaining to do." Jhin and Yasuo walked over the trio of women. Gragas took a deep breath.

"Okay, so here's what happened: I was on the hunt for ingredients for the ultimate brew, and I stumbled upon this village near the Kumungu Jungle. I learned that they had the extract from a plant in the jungle known as the Ecstasia. They kept this extract in water and drank it as a liquor. I thought this would be a fine component of the ultimate beer, and put some into the drinks which I served your friends." He nodded at Jhin and Yasuo.

"However, that backfired when I walked in later that night, and I found the seven of you completely shit-faced."

"Seven? But there were ten of us last night, right?" Yasuo looked at Jhin, who nodded.

"Yeah, here's the problem: Ezreal, Tryndamere, and Garen are all missing. I have no idea in hell how they got out of the tavern under my nose, but they did."

"So what do we do? If Tryndamere doesn't return, my people will become fearful."

"Wh-Where are you, Ez..."

"Gah, I'd be turning this place on its head right now, but I've got no leads..."

Yasuo turned to Gragas. "By the way, why were we naked?"

The barkeeper sniffed. "You guys smelled like booze, sweat, and vomit, and you ask me why I took off your clothes? You ought to be thanking me. Oh, and I didn't look at your buddy's face. Seemed like a touchy subject, so I took it off from behind." Jhin sighed in relief.

"Oh, and before I forget, here." Gragas held out Yasuo's ribbon. It was freshly washed and perfectly clean. With a word of thanks, Yasuo tied up his hair.

A thought passed through Gragas' mind. "I'm just wondering, but how are you two still standing up? That Ecstasia threw everyone else for a loop, and I can smell the beer on you."

"The two of us actually took the stuff a lot later than the others when we took the wrong glass. And we can't remember anything after."

"Hmmm... With the small amount we took erasing our memories and knocking us out, one can only imagine what happened to the rest of our companions..."

Gragas sighed. "Oh, it hurts to say this, but I really need your help. Everyone else is out cold, and I doubt they'll wake up without a nasty hangover. That damn plant... If you all hadn't drank it..."

"It's okay, Gragas. We'll give you a hand with this one. Let's go, Jhin. We need our stuff." Waving goodbye to the four champions, the roommates set off to their dorm.

"You seemed quick to help them. You're usually reluctant to offer favors to others."

"What else could I do? Our friends need us."

"One drunken night and you're already friends?"Jhin chuckled. "You really have changed from when we first met."

Yasuo remained silent as they continued their walk back home.

* * *

After gearing up for their hunt, the duo returned to the entrance of Gragas' tavern

"Alright, let's start off small. Tryn couldn't have gone that far, so we'll look for him first."

"But we have no leads. And he looked relatively fine last night."

"Well, we've always got to start somewhere, and here seems like a decent-ack!"

Yasuo's foot got caught in a small trench on the ground, that looked as though it was made by a massive blade. And nobody had blade as massive as Tryndamere's.

"It appears as though we have our first clue."

"Shut up, Jhin."

The path left by the Barbarian King's greatsword seemed to meander aimlessly: through the market, the park, the housing areas, and, to the two Ionians' chagrin, the red light district. And the market again.

"Uggghhh, how do you walk this far when you're drunk?" Yasuo said, dragging his feet.

"I can't... answer that question..." Jhin planted his hands on his knees, wheezing.

"Looks like we'll just have to-hm?" Yasuo saw the trail lead into a large tent that seemed to belong to a circus troupe. The two could hear cheers and screams from inside. Beckoning the winded artist to follow, the wanderer walked over, and was greeted with a large sign that made the roommates' blood run cold.

 _COME ONE, COME ALL! THE INSTITUTE OF WAR'S FREE-FOR-ALL BRAWL OF MAYHEM!_

Jhin and Yasuo cursed as they drew their weapons and charged into the tent, ready to strike down anyone who would prey on them.

"Oh, look who it is! Hey there!" Hearing the familiar voice of the Freljordian king, the two whipped their heads around to see a bizarre sight indeed.

Tryndamere sat on a mountain of clobbered bodies, laughing amidst the groans of the burly men beneath him. A scrawny announcer was quivering with excitement, and crowd of people in the stands cheered and chanted the king's name.

"Tryn?! What-" The samurai fell silent as Tryndamere slid off the pile and came forward to greet his companions.

"I don't really know how I got here. I was just wandering around, wasted, when I walked in on this huge fight, but it seems as though I sobered up from throwing down with these folks!" The Freljordian threw his head back and laughed. Neither Jhin nor Yasuo was going to question how that was possible.

Yasuo cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. "A-Anyway, Ashe was looking for you, so get going to Gragas' bar, and fast."

"Huh? Oh, sure, just give me a second." The Barbarian King turned and flexed for the crowd, making them erupt into cheers. "Send that reward to my wife, and tell her it's an early wedding gift. Ha-ha!" Waving goodbye to his fans and the duo, Tryndamere left.

Outside of the tent, Yasuo sheathed his sword. "Well... That was easy. I guess."

"I suppose. Hmmm?" Jhin found a pair of sunglasses and a rose on the ground. "Do you think these were Ezreal's?"

"Yeah, those do look famili-" Yasuo stopped as he saw Jhin flapping his arms around, cursing. "What are you doing?"

"Damned things are stuck to my hands! They seem to be covered in spider webs!"

"Spiderwebs?" Yasuo's eyes widened in horror. "Wasn't there a boat leaving for the Shadow Isles at one? What's the time now?"

Jhin pulled out his pocket watch. "12:45, why?"

"We have to haul ass. Now."

* * *

Elise sat at the front of barge, very pleased with herself.

Her latest venture at the Institute had netted her a bumper crop of pilgrims that were to become Vilemaw's breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She hadn't gotten this many suckers in one go before.

And she had something that she decided was a delectable dessert for her god.

"Spiii...derrrsss..." Ezreal groaned. His suit was covered in beer stains and the explorer reeked of booze, but there was nothing a quick bath couldn't take care of. He was also trussed up with several spiderwebs, but she honestly wondered why she even bothered. The blonde was damn near catatonic.

Jhin and Yasuo rushed onto the docks, and found their wasted mark. Yasuo drew his sword. "Alright, let's do thi-" Yasuo stared at Jhin's finger, which was pushing the blade down. He raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"None of that, now, Yasuo. All of those acolytes will be upon us in seconds if we charge in." The Virtuoso drew himself up regally. "Allow me."

The serial killer left his samurai roommate behind as he snuck onto a ship near Elise's vessel. Yasuo watched as Jhin scaled the mast and clambered onto the crow's nest.

His eyes widened in shock as the psychopath dove off and into the crowd of pilgrims.

Jhin was kneeling on the deck of the ship, now surrounded by a very bewildered group of pilgrims and a very confused Spider Queen.

"Gentlemen," he said, rising. He pulled out a set of folders from underneath his clothes. The people around on board stared at him, curious.

"I do believe you all are familiar with a photo shoot Ahri recently took for the Summoner's Weekly magazine, correct?" He was answered with a few nods and mumbles from the crowd.

"Then, enjoy."

Jhin flung the folders into the air, creating a rain of pictures that had Ahri posing in a multitude of provocative poses and racy costumes. The men stared at the floating pictures for less than a second before a violent melee erupted for the goods. Yasuo stares at Jhin, who was cackling madly amidst the chaos.

"All of you! Stop this right-" Elise was floored by a stray boot that had been hurled into her face.

A still-cackling Jhin seized the inebriated Ezreal before sprinting off the ship, leaving the brawling men and a terrified Spider Queen behind.

"Where the hell did you get those?" Yasuo asked as Jhin apporached.

"I took it from the sight of my last masterpiece. I thought it would be useful at a later date."

"Well, let's just get this fool back to the tavern." Yasuo stared reproachfully at a belching Ezreal.

"True, true, but please, can you carry him? I think I might catch something." Jhin cringed as Ezreal let out a particularly loud burp.

"No way in hell."

* * *

"Damn it, where could that guy have gone? He's not even that small!"

Yasuo scratched his head, wondering how one of the burliest men in the League had seemingly vanished without a trace. The sun was setting soon. Another hour or so and they'd have to call off the hunt.

"Well, maybe he can handle himself, wherever he is? My brother is a tough one," Lux said, holding Ezreal's hand as he was nursing a nasty headache.

"It seems so, but we should at least know where he is," Jhin said, tapping an armored finger on the tabletop.

"I think I can help you with that."

The three champions turned to see Talon stagger into the room, holding his head due to his own headache. "Uh, Lux, maybe you could go somewhere else for a bit? I don't think you'll like this news."

Lux opened her mouth to speak, before nodding and moving an incapacitated Ezreal out of the room.

"Okay, Talon, let's have it. Do you know where he is?"

The assassin sighed. "Well... Yes and no."

Jhin leaned forward. "I don't think I quite follow."

The Noxian reached into his coat and threw a something onto the table. A photograph, by the looks of it. Yasuo picked it up, and Jhin peered over his shoulder.

Yasuo stared at the picture, horrified.

"Oh dear," Jhin said, raising a hand to his mask.

The picture was of Garen's sandal, sitting by the entrance to the women's dormitories.

* * *

"Explain to me why we're breaking in like the criminals we are, instead of politely asking for Garen nicely," Yasuo asked.

The three men were outside of the women's building, under the cover of night. Yasuo and Jhin were standing guard behind Talon, who was trying to crack open a window.

"Because they'll send him back in pieces if they find out he's in there. You know what happened to Jayce."

Yasuo shuddered as he remembered the news of how a drunken Jayce had gotten beaten within an inch of his life last month for blundering into the girls' dormitory. Jhin seemed rather happy to recall that incident, along with the clobbered mess that was Jayce the next morning.

"Got it," Talon said, popping the window open. He slipped in, and the two Ionians followed.

"Okay, I've got a hunch that he's in the Noxus wing of the dorms. That's on the third floor. We should find the staircase after going straight, before taking the third right. Let's move." Talon began moving, blades in hand. Jhin followed him, loaded pistol in hand. Yasuo reluctantly brought up the rear, hand on the hilt of his sword.

"How do you know so much about this building? And why the hell would _Garen_ go to the _Noxus_ wing?"

"Swain supplied all of us with floor plans detailing the layouts of both our buildings. As for Garen..." Talon sighed. "It's a hunch. And keep your voice down."

The three criminals continued creeping down the ominously dark hallways of the building, till they spotted the stairwell at the end of a corridor. The trio began moving for the flight of stairs, until they saw a ray of light coming from a doorway. They cursed when they saw a shadow move in the light, and dove around the corner.

"Gee, Pix, midnight snacks are the best, huh?" Lulu walked out of the kitchen, a cupcake in her hand, followed by her fae companion. Talon raised a finger to his comrades, motioning them to stay silent. As the oblivious Yordle walked past, the assassin grabbed her in a chokehold. The girl kicked her feet in terror, before they went limp as she slipped into unconsciousness. Jhin had grabbed the fae in a hand, and decommissioned it with a flick to the head. The two assassins looked around, before stowing them in a storage closet. Yasuo stared at them, perturbed.

"You two are scary." Talon huffed and pulled his hood over his head further. Jhin seemed to see it as a compliment.

The men moved up the stairs, until they reached the third floor. "Okay, this is where things get serious. Quinn patrols the halls every night before bedtime. We're in the Demacia wing right now, so we have to be extra careful. If we find Quinn, just let me do the talking, and don't do anything stupid." The Ionians nodded, before the three continued on their hunt.

The corridors seemed to drag on without end, each hall ending in unnerving darkness. Talon and Yasuo looked into each black pit tensely, their hands dropping to their weapons at the slightest sound or hint of movement. Jhin seemed to be enjoying his little adventure on the edge.

The journey continued till the trio were greeted with a bird.

It was perched on a lamppost, looking straight at them. It was a magnificent-looking bird, an eagle, in fact, with blue, well groomed feathers. It looked at the three men curiously. Jhin seemed intrigued at the presence of the beautiful avian, while Yasuo was confused as to why it would be in the middle of the corridor.

Talon looked like he was about to shit himself.

"Keep moving. Now. I've made a terrible mistake." The Noxian seized both Ionians by the arms and quietly marched them under the eagle's beak.

Yasuo frowned, swatting away Talon's arm. "What can that thing do to us? It's just some bird."

"Not some bird. Quinn's bird."

As if on cue, the bird let out a piercing shriek that resounded off the walls and echoed into the depths of the many corridors. At once, a door was almost blown off its hinges as an army of women poured out with weapons in hand. They scanned their surroundings, ready to put a pervert in their rightful place: a hospital bed. Their eyes settled on the three men.

The women stared at the men.

The men stared at the women.

The women raised their weapons.

The men turned to run.

 **"TALON YOU FUCKING IDIOT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US ABOUT THAT GODDAMN BIRD,"** Yasuo screamed, charging into an unknown corridor, the thunderous footfalls of a mass of infuriated ladies resounding behind him and his sprinting companions.

 **"I TOLD YOU I FUCKED UP DIDN'T I NOW SHUT UP AND KEEP RUNNING,"** Talon yelled back, narrowly ducking under a volley of arrows and crossbow bolts.

 **"THIS INSPIRES ME,"** Jhin shouted merrily, firing randomly behind him while flinging mines and grenades to deter the mob's pursuit.

 **"SHUT THE FUCK UP,"** both of them yelled.

Hallway after hallway they ran down, Talon screaming out directions as a merciless hail of projectiles rained down all around them, with the men being able to retaliate with a lucky trap of Jhin's. Their mad dash in the women's building seemed to drag on for hours, punctuated with Talon and Yasuo's expletives and Jhin's excited laughter.

"Don't you have some wind wall crap you can use?!" Talon deflected a kama with a slash of a knife.

"With no air circulation?!" Yasuo parried a flung spear with a timely swipe of his blade.

At once, Jhin chucked a grenade in front of them, blowing out the windows. Yasuo yelled a quick word of thanks before unleashing a Wind Wall, making the women cower from the barrier of weaponry

" _Aseryo!_ " Yasuo shouted, sending forth a tornado of cutting wind hurtling at the mob, making them dive out of the way. Talon followed up by hurling a bed of caltrops in the path behind them, and Jhin turned the corridor into a minefield with his Lotus Traps. Soon, the angry howls of the women were far behind the trio, who were once again alone.

Talon sighed in relief. "Good job, guys. We're at the Noxus wing, so I guess we can afford to relax a bit." The three men stowed away their weapons, and slumped against the walls, taking a welcome break before they resumed their search for the Might of Demacia.

* * *

The three men wandered down yet another labyrinth of corridors, this time with a wary eye out from any birds that might summon an enraged army. The trio believed to be safe. No doors had gotten kicked open, no arrows had been fired at them, and nobody had rushed them with a weapon. They continued onwards, till they reached a corridor that seemed more sinister than the others in the Noxus wing.

"This is it. The end of this corridor is where I think Garen is." Talon pointed at a room that was at the very end of the corridor, and the trio advanced, with Jhin opening up any windows Yasuo might need to use. The Noxian pulled out a lockpick from his cloak. Yasuo raised an eyebrow.

"You're just gonna break in? No knocking, nothing?"

The men were at the door, and Talon knelt down, ready to work. "Nope."

"Gentlemen? We have an unwanted guest."

Talon and Yasuo's head swiveled behind them, and a lone woman stood, partially concealed in the darkness. A pair of piercing orange eyes shone through.

"You have nerve, showing your face in a place where you don't belong," Shyvana said. The air around the Half-Dragon shimmered from the heat around her.

"Hold her off, I'm almost done here!" The roommates nodded and hefted their weapons. Shyvana smiled viciously.

"Good. I was hoping you won't come quietly." The Half-Dragon doubled over with a roar, and was engulfed in flames. The Ionians looked on in astonishment until the menacing head of a dragon reared out of the inferno, looking at them the way one would look at an ant.

"I like hunting down my prey."

With that, Shyvana let loose a scorching blast of flames, sending the duo ducking for cover. The dragon pulled back for another barrage, and it met a hastily thrown Wind Wall, making Yasuo recoil at the searing heat. Jhin laid a hand on Yasuo's shoulder.

"Yasuo, I have a plan, but it requires you to distract her. Can you oblige me?" With only a flicker of hesitation, which soon passed, the wanderer nodded at the serial killer, before charging at the Demacian dragon, blade drawn and ready.

"Bring it on! I ate lizards for breakfast while on the run!"

An assassin, a murderer, and a dragon cringed in disgust. "Eurgh."

"H-Hey, I was a fugitive! You can't expect me to go to a five-star restaurant!" Yasuo said, indignant, as he narrowly danced out of the way of swipe of Shyvana's claw. He struck out at her scaly arm, only for the attack to bounce off with an audible _clang._

"What does it take to hit you, white sharpness?! I don't even have a whetstone!"

"Stop making shitty Beast Hunter references and keep swinging!" Talon yelled, cursing as he broke another lockpick. "I knew I should have gotten my Lockpicking skill to 40!"

"Okay, that was actually a decent Skyedge reference," the samurai said, bringing up another Wind Wall.

Jhin groaned. "Both of you, please. You are practically begging me to make art of you."

"And asking me to eat you," Shyvana growled.

After numerous close shaves, broken lockpicks, and blasts of flames, Jhin finally called out. "Yasuo, move out of the way!" Yasuo, more than happy to oblige, dashed out of the path of another stream of dragonfire. The dragon, curious about the wanderer's sudden retreat, turned to face Jhin, who was standing in a triumphant pose as he aimed his gun at the ground.

"I live for the applause. You will die for it." He pulled the trigger, and a Lotus Trap blew up at his feet, triggering an intricate ring of identical traps around the Half-Dragon, who roared in fury as she was boxed in by the exploding mines around her. Jhin calmly threw off the covering on the Hextech Mass Accelerator on his shoulder, and after an elegant flip, raised his fully assembled rifle. "Prepare..."

"For your finale." A flicker of fear ran through Shyvana's mind.

"One." The bullet streaked at her left wing, crippling her with the heavy impact.

"Two." Another took out her right wing, and she roared with pain and anger.

"Three." The bullet slammed into her head, making her stumble back, disoriented.

 **"Four."**

The final, deadly bullet found its mark in her chest, and with a final cry of pain, Shyvana fell to the ground with a resounding crash, finished.

Yasuo stared at the act, wide-eyed. "Whoa... Nice work, Jhin." He prodded the still dragon's wing. "She's still alive, right?"

"These were only concussive rounds. She'll be fine in the morning," Jhin said nonchalantly, as he finished disassembling his gun. Talon and Yasuo fearfully noted to never get on Jhin's bad side. Concussive rounds or no, any bullets that could take down a damn dragon should _not_ be used on them.

"Okay... Done, Talon said, wiping the sweat off his brow. He kicked the remains of multiple broken lockpicks aside, and the roommates clustered around him as he prepared to open the door.

"Now or never..." Talon said, and he turned the doorknob.

* * *

The second the door swung open, the trio were greeted by a shocked scream.

"T-Talon?! What the fuck are you doing here?!" The men looked inside, and they all reacted differently. Yasuo's jaw dropped. Talon pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Jhin muttered something about the always-enchanting tale of star-crossed lovers.

For within the room, Katarina and Garen were sharing a bed, their bare arms holding the sheets up to their necks in a desperate attempt to cover their modesty.

"Dammit Kat, you kept that guy here this entire time? Jhin and Yas have been looking for him all day," Talon said, staring at his sister disapprovingly.

"Oh, please! This idiot walked in drunk off his ass! I had to look after him, or the girls would put him in a hospital bed!"

"And somewhere down the line, you thought hopping into bed with him would be a good way to 'look after him?'"

The two lovers averted their eyes, faces burning. Yasuo sighed.

"Look, point is, just give us Garen, and we'll all be on our merry way." Garen and Katarina looked at each other, and sighed.

"Alright, just... Give me a minute." A somber Garen clambered out of the bed, and pulled on his clothes from the previous night, which were all freshly washed. The roommates noted that the redhead had, indeed, taken some effort to take care of the burly Demacian. As Garen neared the door, he turned. "I'll call you. I Garen-tee it." The woman's frown was instantly replaced with a smile.

"You better." The couple chuckled as Garen shut the door behind him. Talon sighed.

"Getting hitched with my sister while the rest of us were dealing with a hangover? You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

Garen huffed. "I'll have you know I had a headache as well, thank you very much."

"Guys." The bickering men turned to the Ionians, who had popped a window and had set up a rope that Jhin had brought, which was to be their method of escape for the night. "With the way you two are talking, you'll wake up Shyvana. Let's just go."

The two men looked at each other one more time, before sighing. They all started down the rope, one after another, with Talon and Garen's argument resuming as they climbed down the rope. Jhin and Yasuo shared a knowing look, before gazing out on the moonlit Institute of War.

Friends always were a good thing to have.

* * *

If I had as much IP as the amount of words I typed, I would have bought Jhin by now.

Anyway, I feel really proud of myself for this chapter, and how much work I put into it, especially since it's just so damn long. I loosely based this chapter of off the Hangover, and I feel that it came out decently.

Anyway, thank you guys again for reading, and for dropping your reviews, which I just adore. And a thank you to the guys who followed and favorited this fic, I really appreciate it. As always, feel free to leave a review of your own, and I'll see you guys later. See ya.

Also, Beast Hunter and Skyedge. I'm not sorry.


	4. Chapter 4: Blood and Explosions

Okay, first off, I'm sorry for not uploading in a while. I just didn't know what to write next, and I got pretty lazy as well. But I'm back now. Enjoy.

* * *

" **ACHOO!** Urgh..." Yasuo sniffed, miserably blinking a pair of bloodshot eyes.

"He's got a really bad cold. He'll be stuck in here for about a week," Soraka said, tapping her pen against the clipboard.

"Hm. I see," Jhin said, his expression unreadable under his mask. Like always.

A celestial being, a samurai, and a madman were in the hospital ward, the reason being that said samurai had gotten very, **very,** ill. And it wasn't as though he had gotten their anytime soon, since the madman, being his roommate, was a chronic germaphobe.

"Yes, it's quite a shame, and... Is there any reason for you to be over there?"

The Starchild raised an eyebrow at the Ionian assassin, who had plastered himself against the opposite wall, looking fearfully at the bedridden wanderer. "No reason," Jhin murmured.

"Urgh..." Yasuo groaned, before a series of coughs escaped his mouth.

"You should go, Jhin. Yasuo needs his rest." Soraka stuck a thermometer in the samurai's mouth. Jhin nodded, and turned to leave.

"Jhin..." The feeble wanderer called out, making the Virtuoso turn, perplexed.

"Don't... do anything crazy..." Yasuo said, before sneezing again.

Jhin paused, before nodding. "You needn't worry about a thing, Yasuo." The murderer strolled out of the hospital room.

Soraka smiled warmly as he left. "He truly has gotten better after he met you, hasn't he?"

"I suppose... I didn't expect the most terrifying serial killer in Ionia to be some goofy oddball. Maybe that's why we got along after we became roommates," Yasuo muttered, sinking into his pillow. He stared up at the white ceiling, uneasy.

"But I just can't help but worry about him..."

* * *

Jhin was bored.

The Virtuoso sighed and put down his paintbrush, taking a good look at his latest painting. An intricate lotus blossomed from a young woman's back, embers gently rising into the air as she exhaled a wisp of white smoke, a wistful expression on her face as she let go of her braid of chestnut hair. The serial killer took the painting off its stand and kept it in a small closet, which he used to store his art.

"Certainly not my best, but it was perfection nonetheless," Jhin muttered, gazing out of his window at the rest of the Institute. The gentle rays of the autumn sun illuminated the grounds, and he could see the pathways from the courtyard and the market district from his room.

The Ionian did not venture out into the Institute often. He much rather preferred to stay inside, working on his latest painting. He only went outside when he had to, or with Yasuo. Going outside with Yasuo was always a pleasant experience for him. They would often visit restaurants together, or went shopping for art supplies and alcohol. The grumpy wanderer would always give him some kind of inspiration for his next masterpiece, be it through getting into a shouting match with Irelia, staring suspiciously at Riven, or nervously turning down Gragas' newest brew.

But unfortunately, Yasuo was sick. And he'd be in the hospital for another four days.

Jhin eyed his paintbrush again wearily, not wanting to make a fifth painting that day. He'd already made four so far. And four yesterday. And the day before that. Four was just enough. Four was just right.

The psychopath sighed and holstered Whisper, and attached his cane to his waist. He straightened out the folds of his complex clothing, and made sure his mask was in place. He took a final glance at the mirror. Perfection.

"I suppose I must make do with this tawdry setting..." Jhin grumbled, turning the knob on his door.

* * *

Jhin wasn't getting any less bored outside either.

He had meandered aimlessly through the many streets of the small city, apathetically regarding the many buildings around him. They were graceless and uninspiring to him, all in the same storm grey or sandy brown. Jhin groaned. Yasuo's presence always did make the Institute more interesting.

He looked down at his gun, no, his paintbrush, Whisper. He sighed contentedly and tenderly patted the lethal weapon on his hip. No matter how droll his surroundings would get, the reassuring presence of the pistol would never fail to put him at ease and comfort him.

He began tapping out a steady rhythm on the handle with a finger, closing his eyes in bliss.

 _One, two, three, four._

Jhin could hear voices around the corner, loud and angry ones. He shrugged. _Nothing I would need to concern myself with._

 _One, two, three, four._

The voices grew louder, and he could make out various crass insults and manic laughter. He raised an eyebrow, somewhat annoyed, but continued tapping.

 _One, two, three, four._

He could hear explosions now, and they grew louder by second, accompanying the psychotic giggles and colorful curses. Jhin furrowed his brow, now thoroughly irritated.

 _One, two, three, f-_

 **"WHEEEEEEE!"**

Jhin's eyes shot open and he quivered in fury as he ripped the gun from his holster, raising it squarely in the direction of the infernal noise. His eyes widened as he saw the spectacle unfold in front of him.

"Miss again, Fat Hands! Haha!" A certain terrorist with shock-blue braids and skimpy clothing narrowly danced out of the way of Hextech gauntlet belonging to a certain pink-haired cop with a bad track record. Vi cursed as a cackling Jinx let loose with a stream of bullets, forcing the Piltover Enforcer on the defensive. Jhin eyed the purple top hat of Caitlyn on the top of a building, taking aim with her signature rifle.

 _Glorious._

The brawl had awoken something deep inside the Virtuoso. It had inspired him. The intoxicating glee of the anarchist. The fascinating volatility of the policewoman. The regal presence of the sheriff. And the oh-so-delightful contrast between the three combatants made the melee so alluring. Made it into art.

"I shall choreograph this affair..." Jhin whispered, ecstatic. He immediately assembled his rifle, bringing it to bear with Caitlyn's head.

"One."

The bullet whizzed over the sheriff's head, shredding her hat into floating purple scraps. The cop was taken aback at the drifting wisps of her headwear, and eyed the Ionian murderer through her scope, readying his next shot.

"Two."

Caitlyn ducked for cover just in time to be avoid obliteration at the hands of the Virtuoso. The shot reduced the surrounding wall to rubble, and outright demolished the barrel to her rifle. Perfect.

 **"C'MERE, YOU MASKED FREAK!"** Vi had swiveled her head to see the madman take aim for his third shot. In a fury, she charged him, shrugging off all of the bullets and rockets that Jinx was unloading into her back. Right on cue.

"Three."

Vi's rage-filled expression changed to shock as her gauntlet shattered into a mass of sparking debris, blowing her back. Her eyes widened as she saw the fragments of wires and metals raining down around her.

Jhin wasn't sure of what to do next. The final piece of his orchestra was one pull of the trigger away, but what was to be its climax?

Shoot Caitlyn? The retreating figurehead of law and order, gunned down in front of her closest friend and staunchest ally? That would be a fitting end, a fitting tragedy. Or pull the trigger on Vi, and force the sheriff stand by and helplessly watch as her most loyal subordinate and companion fell before her, forcing her to carry her burden of upholding justice on her lonesome? Now, _that_ sounded much better. Jhin's lips curled into a wicked smile as he held the gun to bear with Vi's heart, fingering his trigger with a giddy anticipation.

 **"Fo-"**

Jhin never finished as he was seized by the leg, forcing his aim off and making his finishing act go flat as the bullet missed. He flopped onto the ground with a yelp, and was dragged against the pavement and around the corner by a cackling Jinx.

"Wow, masky! That was some rootin' tootin' shootin' back there! Now let's get outta here!" The scrawny anarchist was surprisingly strong for her physique, and Jhin was helpless to resist as his outfit was steadily getting more and more torn against the ground. And he was getting more and more distraught with every rip he heard.

* * *

After what seemed like hours of laughter, rips, sobs, and painful dragging, Jinx finally dropped Jhin's leg and took in a large gulp of air. The hapless Ionian groaned as he felt the bruises along his skin and the tears in his clothes. Jinx chuckled, exhausted.

"Sheesh, that... was so... fun..." Jinx said between pants. The murderer groaned his dissent from the pavement.

"You could have at least let me get to my feet..." Jhin grumbled, painfully getting up. He was taken aback when the anarchist shot out a pale and skinny hand in front of his face, grinning all the while. Pausing, he reluctantly took the hand, and was quickly, if roughly, yanked to his feet.

"Thanks a lot, masky! I thought my goose was cooked back there, but you were all like BLAM! And those two were all like 'Nooo!' And I was all like 'See ya, suckers!'" The Zaunite giggled madly in front of a perplexed Jhin.

"You needn't thank me, girl. It was merely art that was being created, and I was the artist." While she did seem like a raving lunatic, her energy was somehow invigorating to the serial killer. He couldn't explain it.

"Girl? I'm a _woman!_ No, wait, I'm Jinx! Yup, definitely Jinx." After returning from her tangent, she looked up at Jhin, a manic glint in her wide eyes. "What's your name?"

The Virtuoso blinked once, before standing up tall and regally. "I am Khada Jhin, at your service."

Jinx cocked her head. "That's a pretty funny name. Is it foreign? Like, Void foreign?"

The murderer sighed. "It is Ionian, so yes, it is foreign. And I don't think a girl calling herself 'Jinx' can talk about people having funny names."

The terrorist laughed. "I guess." A thought seemed to cross her mind. "Hey, you like art, right?"

Jhin chuckled. "Why, yes. I _am_ an artist, after a-" Jhin was interrupted as a grinning Jinx seized his hand, pulling him along. Remembering how well his last attempt of resisting went, he allowed the girl to lead him to wherever she deemed fit.

"Welp, here we are!" Jinx proudly stood in front of a plain brick wall, which was bathed in the golden glow of the evening sun. Jhin raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"It's a wall," he said, unamused.

Jinx giggled. "Nope! It's a canvas!"

Jhin watched, intrigued, as she whipped out a bottle of spray paint and covered the wall in stylized graffiti of her name, adding her signature pink X underneath it. She spun, grinning widely at him. "You try now!"

Jhin blinked, before taking a small bottle of paint and a brush out of his ruined clothes with a chuckle. He elegantly signed his name above Jinx's in golden paint, making it larger than usual to make them align. He paused, before quickly painting a golden rose over the X, inciting a giggle from the Loose Cannon.

"Wow, you're good at this! Some more!" Jinx grinned as she moved to a blank part of the wall, before spraying out a cackling stick figure of her and her rocket launcher, adding a shock of blue spray paint for her braids. She turned to him, flecks of paint on her face as she giggled, without a care in the world.

Jhin immediately followed by making a similar picture of himself next to hers, holding Whisper up for all to see. He didn't care about the vandalism. He didn't care about the painting looking like a child's cartoon. He didn't care about the drop of golden paint rolling down the wall. And he didn't care that what he had made wasn't perfection. Ever since Yasuo had left for the hospital three days ago, he hadn't felt himself when painting. He felt dull, uninspired. And somehow, splashing paint crudely against the wall with a giggling terrorist at his side made him feel that relish again. The inspiration that accompanied his passion. The life that went behind every stroke of his brush.

He felt that he and the psychotic anarchist had made something beautiful together.

"Whoo, that was awesome!" Jinx crowed, stepping back to admire their handiwork. Pink and gold coated the wall in a series of random illustrations. It was nothing but bizarre lunacy, each painting having no correlation with the last. And the two psychopaths adored it for that.

"I believe we have outdone ourselves," Jhin said, clearly pleased with himself.

Jinx laughed. "You said it!" The terrorist went silent for a second, before tugging on his sleeve. "Uh, Jhin?"

"Yes, J-" Yet again, he was interrupted. But it wasn't by him getting dragged along by the arm or leg.

It was by Jinx planting a kiss on the lips of his mask.

The two remained like that for a solid minute, bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun. Eventually, she broke away, still grinning madly. "Well, it was fun, Jhin, but I've gotta go now." She waved, before trotting down the street, her guns clanking as she went. She paused, before spinning around, the smile never leaving his face. "Let's do this again sometime, 'kay?"

"We shall. Believe me, I look forward to it," Jhin said, making Jinx giggle.

"Okay then! Later, charmer!" She went on her way, cackling all the while. Jhin watched her go, fingering the lips of his mask.

 _Sublime._

* * *

"Er, hey, uh, Yas? You might wanna see this."

Yasuo stared hard at a certain time-travelling teen, annoyed at his rest being interrupted. Ekko seemed rather uneasy, and it wasn't from the glaring wanderer in a hospital bed. He had a photograph in his hand, which he handed out to Yasuo. With a sigh, the samurai took a look.

Yasuo's eyes bugged out at the sight of Jhin kissing Jinx next to a vandalized wall.

"I don't know how, but I think they're a thing now," Soraka chimed, hoping to relieve his shock.

The bedridden wanderer didn't answer. Inside his mind, a simple equation was being formed.

Insane Terrorist x Psychotic Serial Killer = Shitty Times

Yasuo looked at the ceiling and howled in anguish. Soraka and Ekko groaned, and set to work calming down the distraught samurai for the rest of the evening.

* * *

This the fourth chapter. Who do you think it will be about? Hue hue hue.

Also, Jhinx forever.

I was just flipping through some random fanart of Jhin until I stumbled across one of him and Jinx painting together. I knew what to write about after that. Speaking of writing, I just got pretty lazy over the last two weeks, and didn't upload for a bit. That, and I hit a wall on what to write next. Fortunately, that's passed, and I'll be writing again, as normal.

Anyway, thank you for all of the views, follows, favs, and reviews. It means a lot to me that my work has lots of people that enjoy it. Feel free to leave a review, and I'll be seeing you all later.


	5. Chapter 5: Jhin and Yasuo's Snowdown

"Do you have any fours?"

"Jhin, if you ask me for fours one more fucking time I swear to God..."

Yasuo stared dourly across the table at his psychotic roommate. Every time they played Go Fish, Yasuo would almost invariably win, solely due to the fact that Jhin would outright refuse to ask for anything except for fours. The wanderer had to coax him into picking other numbers by saying that every number was, in fact, four, but with another number added or subtracted.

Jhin chuckled behind his mask. "Come now, no need to be crass. So, do you have any fours?" He stared deeply at the irritated samurai, who let out a sigh.

"Go fish," Yasuo muttered. Jhin obligingly picked up another card, adding it to his hand of 26 cards.

"So, Yasuo, have you decided on what you're doing for Snowdown?" Jhin cocked his head, looking at his roommate expectantly.

"I..." Yasuo froze. What was he going to do? He vaguely remembered a Snowdown back in Ionia before going on the run, but that was so long ago. That, and an Ionian Snowdown would almost certainly be a far cry from a place as ridiculous as the Institute of War. "I'm not so sure."

"Well, you should decide on something. Snowdown is right around the corner, and nobody wants to sit around on such a day not knowing what to-" A loud crash came from the fireplace, interrupting Jhin. The two roommates stared at the opening, confused. Another crash, and a cloud of soot billowed out of the fireplace.

"Er, Jhin? What day is it today?"

"The 23rd. Snowdown is not for another two days..." Jhin and Yasuo reached for their gun and sword respectively, both of them ready to put down whatever was trying to make an uninvited visit.

A final crash resounded from the inside of the chimney, and a hulking, indistinct shape fell into the fireplace amidst a massive cloud of soot. Annoyed about having his Go Fish game interrupted and having to clean up another's mess, Yasuo drew his blade and charged. _"Ton!"_ He shouted, thrusting the katana straight at the center of the shape. It barely danced out of the way, and to the Ionians' shock, it spoke.

"Yasuo! Good friend! What have I done wrong?" Yasuo's jaw dropped. Jhin's eyes bugged out. For as the dust settled, the familiar jacked body and spectacular moustache of Braum came into view, decked out in his Santa outfit.

"Braum?! Wh-Wha, how...?" Yasuo stumbled over his words, speechless upon realizing that the Heart of the Freljord had, indeed, tumbled out of his fireplace for practically no reason. And dressed like Santa to boot.

Jhin cleared his throat, and stepped forward. "Braum? What brings you here? Snowdown is not for another two days."

The Freljordian sighed and took a seat on the ground. "Ach, I know of this. I have not come to give early present, but instead, to ask for help."

The roommates looked at each other quizzically, before Yasuo spoke up. "Help? What kind of help?"

Braum sighed and held his head in his hands. "I became third Santa to help Gragas and Veigar deliver presents each year. However, Gragas has fallen ill, and we cannot send presents across Runeterra without him."

After hastily shoving his sword back into his scabbard, Yasuo spoke up. "But why not? Two Santas sounds good enough."

"Runeterra is a quite large and quite dangerous, my friend. It takes full effort to make deliveries on time, even with Gragas removing hardest task."

Yasuo's eyebrow rose. "Hardest task? How does the guy without the poros do the hardest task on Snowdown?"

"By not having to go far." Yasuo stared at Jhin, completely confused, before the realization began to wash over him.

"W-Wait, Braum, you're not saying-" A grave nod was his answer.

"Just as friend Jhin has guessed, Gragas has duty of sending presents to summoners and champions in the Institute of War, while me and Veigar go across rest of Runeterra. But since Gragas is ill, it must fall to another to take up his sack of presents. And he said there was no-one than you two."

Yasuo was sweating profusely. "Uh, can we talk about this? Just the two of us." Braum gestured for them to proceed, and the wanderer turned around, wrapping an arm around Jhin's shoulder and drawing him close.

"Jhin, we shouldn't."

"Yasuo, we should."

"Are you mad? We are going to breaking and entering onto the property of more than a hundred champions, who'd probably bludgeon, shoot, stab, or burn us to death!"

"First of all, I am mad. All artists are mad." The samurai groaned. "Second, I have never taken the role of a Santa, and I believe it will be a lovely source of inspiration." Yasuo rolled his eyes.

"Third, the show must go on. The very well-being of the entire Institute of War depends on our successfully delivering these presents. Oooh, how dramatic..." The psychopath elevated himself onto the tips of his toes as the last words left his mouth.

"Well-being of the entire Institute of War, huh? Prove it." Yasuo folded his arms and wore an arrogant smile, confident he could handle whatever Jhin threw at him.

"What do you think would happen if Cho'Gath does not get his present this year?"

The wanderer was dumbstruck. Cho'Gath was the type of guy who would see the lack of a present as an insult to his power, and insults to is power were either responded to with impalement, screaming, flattening, or eating. A rampaging Void beast that could probably squash ten people like grapes in one stride would be disastrous, not just for the Institute, but for all of Runeterra.

"What about Renekton? Kled? Zed? Syndra? Draven? You of all people should know that this place is filled to brim with people who will take someone's head at the drop of a hat. Just imagine, every one of these volatile misfits, going berserk across the entire world. It will surely spell destruction." Jhin's eyes seemed to darken. "And that means nobody would be around to marvel at my art."

"I... I... Urgh..." Yasuo didn't know what to say. Jhin had him. "I... Goddamn it, fine." The Virtuoso clapped his hands in delight as the Unforgiven sighed in defeat.

"Braum, we would be more than happy to assist you on these affai- **HURK"** Jhin was cut off as the burly Freljordian wrapped him and Yasuo in a vice-like bear hug, laughing merrily. The Ionians could almost feel their spines cracking as they gasped and whimpered in pain.

"Oh, thank you, my friends! You two will make excellent Santas! But first..." Braum stuck a hand into his coat, and pulled out two Santa hats, which he slapped onto the roommates' heads. "Now you look the part! Ha-ha-ha!" The Heart of the Freljord threw his head back and laughed heartily, and Jhin and Yasuo half-heartedly followed suit, still testing for any broken bones.

"Now then, my friends, prepare yourselves! I will give Gragas's sack of presents tomorrow evening, before you set out for the night. Best wishes!" With another laugh, Braum clambered back into the fireplace and up the chimney, Jhin and Yasuo watching him leave wearily.

"So, it seems we have our work cut out for us."

"Shut up, Jhin."

* * *

"You know what I love? The fact that we're starting with goddamned Kled." It was the night before Snowdown, and all that could be heard was the clatter of feet against rooftops and a certain wanderer's griping. Yasuo groaned as he set down the massive sack that was filled to the brim with presents. "Why am I the one who lugs this godforsaken thing around?"

Jhin knelt by the opening, and began to fish around for Kled's present. "Because I'm the brains and you're the brawn."

"What the hell is that supposed to-"

"Here we are," Jhin declared, extracting a small box covered in red gift wrap. A small tag that read 'Kled' hung off the side. Jhin tucked it under his arm before climbing onto the top of the chimney. He turned to face Yasuo, who had not joined him. "What are you doing down there?"

"How do we even know if that chimney will lead us to Kled's room? The thing is shared between all of us." He glanced skeptically at the large opening in the roof.

"Braum has told me that on Snowdown Eve, the chimney's are enchanted to allow any person that jumps into it to go to whichever room they please." There was a pregnant pause between the murderer and samurai. "Why are you still down there?"

"I mean, there's only one present, so I guess you could handle it?" Yasuo didn't like Kled. Not one bit. Every time it looked like he had him, that damn lizard would just pop up and they would then proceed to dumpster him.

"I need you with me. I hate that lizard. It just refuses to die no matter what happens. If they're awake, I can't handle both of them at once."

"What if he thinks we're trespassers? Oh wait, we **are** trespass-" Yasuo fell silent as he heard Jhin tap on the butt of his gun, and cursed. "Let's just get this over with," he muttered, scrambling onto the other side of the chimney.

He looked into the dark, soot-covered abyss beneath him, and gulped. Even Jhin was looking as though he was having second thoughts, if only because his clothes would get ruined. Yasuo looked up at his roommate. "You ready?"

"I... suppose." Steeling themselves, they stepped forward, and plunged into the darkness, screaming as they seemed to tumble endlessly. The fall seemed to last for an eternity, before the two Ionians crashed into the bottom of a fireplace.

"Is this... the place...?" Yasuo groaned, extricating himself from the tangle of limbs and stepping out into the middle of a room that was quite bizarre indeed.

Noxian war memorabilia covered the walls, documenting battles that had taken place over centuries ago. Looking at pictures of various ridiculous battles and the absurd list of Kled's titles made the Ionian's want to cringe. Medals upon medals hung haphazardly everywhere. The entire place stank of mushrooms and Teemo. In the corner, they saw the Cantankerous Cavalier snoring boorishly in a small, Yordle-sized bed, lance and hat in easy reach. At the foot of his bed sat his faithful mount, Skaarl.

In short, the roommates hated the place.

"The tree," Jhin choked, covering his mask with a cloth in a futile attempt to keep out the stench. Yasuo's head whipped around, trying to find the objective. He found a mangled Snowdown tree sitting forlornly in the corner, and the wanderer hastily stuffed it underneath it.

"That's it, we're go-"

"Who do you varmints think you are, huhhh?" The Ionians froze, before slowly turning their heads around at the bed. What they saw thoroughly confused them as they witnessed the most bizarre tossing-and-turning ritual known to man. One minute Kled was fine, before his rear end had gone straight into the air in a position that was reminiscent of a snail. Then he'd have a foot in the air like a flagpole. And it just got worse.

Yasuo tugged Jhin's sleeve. "Jhin, let's just go. That shit is almost hypnotizing." The serial killer nodded assent, and the two roommates clambered back into the chimney, and began to climb. After a few minutes of arduous physical activity, groaning, and cursing, both of them finally got out.

"Try not to throw up, try not to throw up, hnnngh..." Yasuo groaned, almost blowing chunks due to the awful smell.

"I'm not going to get rid of this stench if I showered in bleach," Jhin lamented, sniffing delicately at select parts of his outfit.

"Ohhh, man... How many more?"

"127."

"Fuck my life."

* * *

Forty-eight more deliveries later, the two roommates stared back into abyss resentfully.

"How... are you holding up?" Yasuo wheezed, wincing as he felt the bruise on his ribs. He'd gotten hurt upon tripping over Rengar's bola and painfully falling onto the ground. Jhin had just barely managed to keep the knifecat asleep by grabbing a handful of catnip off the counter and shoving it into the Pridestalker's face.

"I am somehow both soaked and burnt at the same time." One of Jhin's boots were completely drenched from an unexplained puddle in Fizz's room, and some parts of his clothing were burned off from a flame that Brand had inexplicably created on his table before retiring for the night.

Yasuo sighed. "Who next?"

Jhin consulted a list that he had made of all the champions in the Institute that required a present. "Garen." Both of them sighed in relief. Compared to the bullshit that the Santa duo had seen that night, a person as simple as Garen should provide no challenge.

Both roommates dug around in the sack, until Yasuo pulled out Garen's present. He started off for the chimney, before noticing that Jhin was still at the sack. "Uh, I have the present, so let's go."

"Just a moment," the madman said, continuing to rummage around. Eventually, he extracted another present, and hurried to catch up to his fugitive roommate.

Yasuo stared at the second package, puzzled. "What's that for?"

"Just in case." Not wanting to question that statement, the wanderer sighed and took his position outside of the chimney. Jhin followed suit, and the two champions fell into the darkness for the fiftieth time that night. And for the fiftieth time that night, they fell in a painful heap at the bottom of the fireplace.

"That," Yasuo groaned, stepping out of the fireplace. "I will never get used to that." He helped Jhin to his feet, and the two surveyed the room. It was, well, Demacian to say the least. A massive crest of Demacia was emblazoned on the wall, and the entire room was painted gold, blue, and white. Demacian weaponry and armor stood at the ready in stands that lined the walls, and a bed took up the rest of the space. However, said bed was missing something. Or rather, someone.

"Jhin, where the hell is he? Shouldn't he be in be-" The duo heard the door for the bathroom unlock, and without thinking, they dove underneath the bed.

"Thanks for letting me shower at your place. Or rather, thank you for showering with me." The Ionians' eyes bugged out as the heard the all-too-familiar voice of Katarina along with the chuckle of Garen.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" Yasuo mouthed. Jhin didn't respond, and was instead listening intently to the couple and watching their feet.

"You know, it's cold outside, and I'm covered in water, so I'm even colder." Both of the Santas picked up an overtly sultry tone from the Noxian. "Care to warm me up?"

They heard Garen chuckle. "But of course." The duo lost sight of the couple's feet, but heard their voices go around to the other side of the bed. Suddenly, both of them had apparently flopped right onto the mattress, and unfortunately, Jhin was right beneath them. Yasuo watched his roommate with horror as Jhin let out a stifled croak from being crushed by the weight of the lithe Noxian and burly Demacian, who began to moan loudly as the bed bounced. Right on top of Jhin.

"G...Go..." Jhin whispered, and Yasuo quietly crawled out of cover and towards the tree which he had noticed upon entering, and silently slid the presents beneath the plant. Swearing to himself not to look, he crawled back to the bed, and delicately extracted his beaten roommate from under the bed while the couple distracted themselves with their lovemaking. The wanderer crawled with murderer in tow to the fireplace, and he began to climb laboriously out to the rooftop.

Upon reaching their destination, Jhin and Yasuo flopped onto the tiles, gasping for air. Jhin was almost certain he had a broken rib. "That was," Yasuo began. "A good call with the second present."

"Thank... you," Jhin wheezed.

Groaning, Yasuo got up, and slung both the sack and his roommate over his shoulder. "C-Come on... This is some bad shit, but... We can do this."

Jhin coughed. "I... believe so." Jhin pulled out his list. "Seventy-seven champions to go."

Yasuo exhaled. "Let's do this."

* * *

"Two more," Yasuo panted. He was covered in sweat, blood, burns, cuts, and bruises, but a triumphant smile was on his face.

"It's Annie now," Jhin said. He had mostly recovered from the incident in Garen's room, with only the odd wheeze every now and then.

The wanderer held the grade-schooler's present to his chest tightly as he crawled onto the opening, Jhin doing the same. "Let's get this over with." Jhin nodded in response, and they tumbled down into the chimney once more.

"Oh, it's so peaceful... Perfect..." Yasuo breathed in gratitude as he beheld the room in front of him. Annie was tucked away in bed underneath pink bed sheets, snoring peacefully. It was completely dark, save for a candle that burned by Annie's bed.

"There's the tree," Jhin said, pointing at the small plant in the corner. The Virtuoso accepted the present, and knelt at the foot of the tree.

Yasuo looked around the room. Confused, he noticed three candle now instead of one. "Jhin, hurry up a bit."

"I'm trying to put this in the most appealing position possible, give me a moment."

Yasuo turned back around, and the candles now seemed like eyes glaring back at him. "Jhin..."

"Not now, Yasuo."

The wanderer looked back, and was horrified as the massive body of a burning bear was staring him down menacingly. "Jhin..." Yasuo whimpered.

"Just a second more..."

 **"JHIN, IT'S THAT FUCKING BEAR, NOW GET YOUR ASS UP AND RUN!"**

His attention acquired, Jhin whipped around, and his eyes bugged out as he saw the enraged body of Tibbers looking down at him. The assassin rolled out of the way as a flaming claw embedded itself into the wall right above the tree. Drawing Whisper, Jhin unloaded four shots into the beast's torso, making it howl in rage. It raised a claw, and Yasuo narrowly parried the blow.

"Get to the fireplace!" Yasuo yelled, and Jhin was more than happy to comply, scrambling up the chimney as soon as he reached it. Gritting his teeth, the samurai shoved the monstrosity away and kicked it over onto its haunches, before sprinting to join his roommate in his flight up the chimney. Yasuo could hear the angry roars of the monster beneath him as he climbed furiously up to the rooftop.

"That's... It's done..." Yasuo groaned, lying on his back. At long last, this madness was over.

"Almost," Jhin said. "There's still Jinx."

"Jinx? But, the sack..." He took a look at the sack with all of the presents, and it was completely empty. "What's her present?"

"Me." Jhin said flatly, wrapping a small ribbon around the top of his mask and walking to the chimney.

"You? Wh-What the hell is that supposed to-"

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, Yasuo," Jhin said, before falling into the abyss. Yasuo scrambled to the entrance, looking for any sign of his roommate.

"H-Hey! Get back here! Explain yourself!" The wanderer cursed as he realized he would get no answer. He sighed, and picked himself and the sack up. Yasuo began to lurch back home, exhausted and alone.

 _I couldn't even give him his present_ , Yasuo thought dejectedly.

* * *

Yasuo was eating from a bowl of cup noodles when he heard a knock on the door. Irked, he set off for the door and threw it open. "Took you long enough, Jhin, I had to make goddamn cup noodles because you were – **HOLY SHIT!"** Yasuo jumped away from the prone body of Jhin on the ground, who was wheezing and shuddering.

"What the hell happened to you?!" The fugitive asked, dragging the body to the bed.

"She... Wouldn't stop... Wouldn't get off... Finished 16 times..." Jhin groaned.

"Wouldn't get off what? And what did you finish 16 times last night?" Yasuo shook his head. "What am I thinking, eat something!" The samurai shoved the bowl into the murderer's hand before throwing a blanket over him.

After a finishing the bowl, Jhin seemed to have recovered a bit. "Thank you... Yasuo. I'm... quite exhausted..."

Yasuo chuckled. "Yeah, no shit."

"I have your present, you know." The wanderer's eyes widened.

"You... have a present? For me?" Jhin nodded, and pulled out a box from his coat. Yasuo tore off the wrapping and opened it. His jaw dropped.

"Targonian whetstones?! These things make a sword sharp enough to cut through steel like butter!" He stared at the bedridden psychopath incredulously. "Where did you get this?"

"Lucky find with the traveling merchant. He looked at me quite oddly, but I let my money and my gun speak for me."

Collecting himself, Yasuo remembered. "I have a present for you too."

"Really?" Yasuo nodded and handed Jhin a box. Curious, Jhin opened it, and his eyes bugged out.

"A set of paints made of pigments from the Kumungu? I've been looking for this set for ages." He turned to the samurai, who was looking quite pleased with himself. "Where in the world...?"

"I was hanging onto that for about a week after finding it in the market. I was waiting for a good time to give it to you, and what better time is there than Snowdown?" Yasuo smiled, and was able to notice his roommate's eyes smiling in return.

"Merry Snowdown, Jhin."

"Merry Snowdown, Yasuo."

There were few pairs of friends in the Institute of War that were as odd as an art-obsessed serial killer and a wind-controlling warrior on the run. But then again, there were few pairs of friends who had such a close bond.

* * *

It is 5 AM, and I think I might fall over.

But, there it is, the Christmas chapter. After working so late into the night, it's done. The things I do for you guys, am I right?

I'm starting to think Yasuo's developing a bit of a potty mouth. I'm planning on toning it down a bit. And I should really show Garen and Kat in a situation that doesn't push this fic's T rating.

But still, thanks for reading this, and for reading my other work as well. Knowing that so many people genuinely love reading my stories make me so happy I can't even put it into words.

But that's enough, I wanna sleep. Feel free to leave reviews, and thanks again for reading this. Merry Christmas to all of you, and goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6: Jhin and Yasuo's Valentine's

A spin on the fic _Heartseeker Tales_ by Miss Yaoi Hands with Jhin and Yasuo in the place of Varus. Be sure to check it out, because aside from the fact that it's hilarious and amazing, I've pretty much lifted the premise straight from there. Just giving credit where credit is due.

* * *

"Jhin, no."

"Yasuo, yes."

"Jhin, there is no way I'm agreeing to this."

"Yes-uo."

"Urgh."

"Shut up and reach a decision. Please."

The Ionian criminals looked at the bedridden Arrow of Retribution, who began coughing painfully. Varus didn't typically look like the picture of health, but his cold just made him look awful.

"Come on, Jhin. There's no way in hell I'm running around in that... **thing.** " The wanderer pointed reproachfully at the gaudy and flamboyant garb that Varus was forced into every Valentine's Day to give him his power. And more specifically, held out in his roommate's arms in an enticing manner.

Varus attempted to scoff, but the end result was more of a strangled cough. "Who said anything about you, jackass? You don't any projectile weapon of any kind. The only projectile you have is that dinky-ass tornado which I can avoid by taking one step to the left."

"Sh-Shut the hell up, Varus. We're only here because you asked us to."

The accursed archer sighed. "Make up your minds, already. I need somebody to go around playing cupid for Valentine's Day, and it sure as hell can't be me."

Yasuo sighed, and turned to his psychotic roommate. "Come on, Jhin, what good could possibly come out of this? Watching the most convoluted romances pop up while babysitting you is not really my idea of fun."

"There is beauty and inspiration to be found here, waiting."

The samurai groaned. "You say that for everything, Jhin. Would it hurt to have a different reason?"

The Virtuoso tapped a finger on his chin. "Alright, how about an offer you can't refuse?"

Yasuo raised an eyebrow, unamused. "Which is?"

"Humiliate Irelia to its logical limit."

The wanderer's eyes widened immediately. "H-Huh?"

"Imagine the kind of havoc we can wreak upon her with the power of this garb. We could stick her with some of the most filthy reprobates in the Institute. Oh, the sheer amount of suffering and despair shall make for a masterpiece..."

Yasuo swallowed. As fun as it would be to utterly ruin the Will of the Blades, he couldn't bring himself to give in just yet. "I... I don't-"

"Twitch."

"Done."

Jhin spun around on his heel to face Varus. "You have your men, Varus."

The archer sighed in relief. "Good. Now that damned Kolminye will stop getting on my case..."

Jhin hugged the revealing outfit to his chest, chuckling. "Now I can show off the beauty of my body to all in this outfit. I can't wait..."

Yasuo scoffed. "What beauty? You're scrawny as all hell."

The serial killer eyed him distastefully. "Whatever are you talking about? You've seen me and my glorious abs already. Remember the day we met, when you stripped me down and forced me into bed?"

"Wha-Huh?! Th-That was-" The wanderer swiveled his head to Varus, who was cringing in his bed with an utterly mortified expression. "D-Don't take this the wrong way! I had to wash him off!"

"You _showered_ with him? What in the world..." Varus whispered, staring fearfully at the agitated fugitive.

"Guh! C-Come on, Jhin! W-We've got people to hitch together!" Yasuo seized the assassin by the arm and dragged him out of the hospital ward, frantic to escape the appalled stare of the archer.

* * *

The Institute of War took Valentine's Day quite seriously. Pink and white streamers bedecked the fronts of every building. The market was absolutely swamped, with the sound of clinking gold filling the air as men and women alike bought gifts for their significant others. Heart-shaped balloons were held in the hands of the many happy couples that had gotten together for the occasion.

However, one couple on a rooftop weren't exactly like the others.

"I'm not looking."

"Not even once?"

"No."

"But this outfit is wonderful! My abs are shown off in their full glory!"

"I want to vomit now."

"Says the man who runs around 80% shirtless by default."

"… I'll give you that one."

Yasuo groaned and turned around. In front of him stood Jhin, garbed in that Heartseeker outfit that made Varus utterly hate the month of February. He actually seemed to wear it quite well, if you didn't factor in the black leather covering his head and the mask on his face. His gun also seemed to be glowing with an odd pink aura, which was quite unsettling.

"So then, Yasuo, who is our first victim?"

The wanderer gulped. "First off, I'm not the one with the gun. You are. Second, they're not our victims, more like... uh... "

"Victims."

"No, they're not – Ugh, fine. **Victims** it is then."

"So, who first?" Jhin began scoping out the throng of people, his trigger finger itching.

"Hold on, man. We don't even know how strong the effects will be once you shoot somebody. How about we take it easy and test it first, yeah?"

"Hmmm, good idea. Now, who should we... Aha!" The serial killer pointed onto the street below, where Rammus was wandering down the sidewalk, seemingly impassive to the events around him.

The samurai tapped his chin. "Huh, I guess he's a good pick. If Rammus would do something after getting shot, then this stuff has to be strong."

"Alright then, give me a moment." In the span of a few seconds, Jhin's rifle was fully assembled and was bearing down on the unsuspecting Armordillo. With a massive bang, a bullet streaked right for him and struck him square on the side of the head. Rammus definitely seemed to be dazed from the hit, and began meandering drunkenly on his way.

Yasuo shrugged. "Well, it can daze him. Maybe it'll be stronger on a human?"

"Hold a moment, Yasuo, he's moving for a... tree?" Jhin squinted at the erratic behavior of one of the most unflappable champions of the League.

"Yeah, I think he is... Hold on, didn't Varus mention something about anyone who gets shot will put the moves on whatever he or she's looking at?" Puzzled, they continued watching Rammus as he, indeed, got right underneath the tree.

"Hmmm, he seems to be raising his right leg. But for wha - **OH BY THE GODS AAAAUUGGHH** " Jhin dropped Whisper and fell to his knees, letting out a cry of sheer anguish.

 **"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHY THE FUCK IS HE GRINDING ON THE FUCKING TREE? AAAAAAARRGGHH"** Yasuo howled at the blue sky in agony, before rushing to the ledge of the rooftop and purging himself of his lunch onto an unfortunate couple's heads.

For the next half hour, anyone who would be strolling down the street would be puzzled to hear the anguished screams of two hapless men, along with the shouting of various colorful Ionian curses.

* * *

"Alright, now that's over, who next, Yasuo?" Jhin asked with a raspy voice.

"Hell if I know," Yasuo wheezed.

As the two Ionians walked down the street, they were given odd looks by passersby, which was a given considering Jhin's choice of attire, a faint scent of vomit surrounding the wanderer, and the rasping wheezes that had become of their voices after shrieking for thirty minutes straight.

"How about we try someone out for real this time?"

"Why not? We've just gotta be careful, since that gun of yours makes people fall hard."

"Hmmm, how about them?" The serial killer pointed at Ahri and Wukong, who were outside of Morgana and Pantheon's bakery, munching cheerfully on a pair of cupcakes.

"Huh, yeah, I heard that Wukong likes Ahri, but the poor guy's in the friendzone or something."

Jhin let out a sinister chuckle, although it came off as a painful croak. "Well, this will be marvelous." After making sure she was looking straight at the Monkey King, the murderer-turned-Cupid raised his gun, before pulling the trigger on the Nine-Tailed Fox.

The roommates' eyes widened as the gumiho looked away right before the bullet hit home and knocked her over.

"She... she was looking at him, right?" Yasuo asked, turning to Jhin, whose visible eye was just as filled with worry as the samurai's.

"I can't tell... Oh, she's coming to." The two men watched as Ahri slowly regained consciousness, wearing a dazed look as she slowly climbed onto her feet, ignoring a panicking Wukong fretting over her. The fox-woman began staggering away from the confused monkey.

Right at the table where Taric and Diana were enjoying their coffee.

"Uh oh," both of them said simultaneously.

They blanched as they saw the fox plaster herself all over a bewildered Taric, and Diana jumping to her feet in rage. After the two women screamed obscenities at each other, Diana threw the gauntlet by sucker punching Ahri in the face, making the two roommates flinch. They looked on with horror as the fox tackled the Lunari, and the fight escalated into a full-blown brawl on the street.

"J-Jhin? Let's get out of here."

"Agreed."

The duo quickly hustled out, a cold sweat breaking across their foreheads as they left the fist-fighting women and their hapless dates behind.

* * *

"Those targets look absolutely juicy, Yasuo."

"Oh, yeah, yeah. A widower, a woman in a relationship, and a bird. As you say, _absolutely juicy._ "

The two were hiding in an alley, spying on Lucian, Quinn and Azir talking over drinks outside of Gragas's tavern. Par for the course, the former two were in their Heartseeker outfits, and looked none too pleased about it.

Jhin gave Yasuo a sour look. "Quinn likes birds. Azir is a bird. It's not Hexplosive science, Yasuo."

"Quinn's in a relationship, Jhin! With Talon! He'd probably turn Azir into a bucket of chicken wings if this went down!"

"Fine, what about Lucian?"

"Like I said, widower. And he's still trying to get her soul back. There isn't a woman on Runeterra who would get with unless it's Senna."

After a minute of growling at each other, Jhin gave in with a sigh. "Alright, Azir appears to be leaving anyway. Let's just g- **OW** " The serial killer had turned to leave, before crashing into a metal pipe. The gun fell out of his hand, and Yasuo plastered himself against the wall as the shots sprayed wildly past him and out onto the street.

"My god, Jhin, I told you to get that leather crap under your mask a second eye-hole ever since we started rooming together!"

"It's part of my ensemble!"

"That ensemble doesn't give you any depth perception, retard!"

"I – Oh dear." Jhin pointed at the Heartseekers' table, and Yasuo turned to see Quinn stumbling drunkenly after the Emperor of the Sands, with Lucian looking on confusedly. The wanderer winced as he noticed a purple cloak charging across the rooftops, the tell-tale shine of a blade occasionally flashing beneath the folds.

Yasuo groaned. "This... This won't end well. Should we...?"

"Er, how about we get to Irelia, instead? I'm sure Azir will be fine... I think."

Worried as he was about the Shuriman, Yasuo decided he needed a positive image in his head after witnessing Rammus grinding on a tree and sparking a death match between two women. "Sounds good."

* * *

"How much more, man? I'm getting a migraine listening to these idiots."

"Not much longer, thank goodness."

The two irritated roommates were hiding behind a bush, tossing Lotus Traps like frisbees in a ring around two Ionian women, who were having quite the mature argument.

"Looks like Irelia doesn't have a date for Valentine's Day! How utterly pathetic," Syndra scoffed, smiling an extremely smug smile at an irate Irelia.

"O-Of course I've got a date! It's... uh... Xin!"

"Pah, I doubt some arena-happy knuckle dragger like him even acknowledges your existence, girl."

"'Girl?!' I'm older than you, you half-naked skank!"

"What did you just call me, you goody-goody bitch?!"

Yasuo jumped out of his cover, thoroughly pissed. "That's it! _Hasagi!_ " Yasuo sent forth a tornado with a swing of his blade, sending a shocked Syndra sky-high. "These traps had better work, Jhin!"

"Have some faith, Yasuo," Jhin muttered, flinging a trap under the falling form of Syndra, which triggered once she landed flat on her face. The mad artist fired off a shot from his cane, immobilizing the Dark Sovereign in the blast radius, who looked at Irelia with a mixture of horror and fury.

"Is this some kind of prank, you who-" Syndra never finished as she was enveloped in an explosion of pink smoke. Jhin's eye gave a hint of a smirk as he admired his handiwork.

"Once again, perfec-"

"Move it, Jhin! _Choryon!_ " Yasuo shoved the madman out of the way before throwing a Wind Wall just in time to catch a dagger from Irelia.

"So you two are the ones behind this! I was wondering what the hell I was hearing, when Karma told me about Rammus grinding an a tree!" The Will of the Blades bared her teeth menacingly as her blades gave off the yellow glow of her activated Hiten Style.

Yasuo backed up, sword at the ready. "Jhin, what no-huh?" The samurai fell silent as he looked at Jhin's extended finger. As if on cue, Syndra flew out of the smoke and latched onto a terrified Irelia like a leech.

"Oooh, Irelia is sooo strong!" Syndra squealed, as her nemesis tried to wrench her off furiously.

"Damn you, Syndra, get the hell o-ack!" Irelia stumbled from the weight on her shoulders, and fell onto another Lotus Trap. Irelia shrieked as the mine detonated, surrounding the two women in pink mist. As the fog settled, Jhin was mildly surprised to see the two of them furiously making out on the pavement.

"Well, I didn't expect this suit's magic to be this potent, eh, Yasuo?" Jhin raised an eyebrow as he received no answer. "Yasuo?"

He looked at the samurai, and gaped as he saw Yasuo with his HexPhone out, his finger a blur as he furiously smashed on the screen to take picture after picture of his rival furiously kissing her worst enemy. An utterly deranged smile had possessed his features as he hammered away.

"Yasuo? Are you...?"

Yasuo wouldn't answer, fully occupied with abusing the buttons on the phone.

For the first time in the roommates' relationship, Jhin gave Yasuo a look of discomfort.

* * *

"Jhin."

"Yes?"

"What are we doing here in this tree?"

"Waiting, my friend."

Sure enough, the two roommates were perched in a tree, overlooking a fairly crowded street. For some reason, the passersby hadn't taken notice of two mostly-shirtless Ionian men in a tree, and frankly, Yasuo was perfectly fine with that.

"For who or what are we – huh?" Jhin had pointed a finger down at the street, and the wanderer craned his head to see some familiar faces in an argument.

"Noxian scum," Garen growled, standing nose to nose with an equally annoyed Darius.

"You have a death wish?" Darius muttered, lips pulled back in a snarl.

"Uh, hey, Garen? Weren't we supposed to see the others by now?" Lux asked, not really welcoming the unwelcome attention passersby were giving them.

"Darius. We've got places to be. My sister wanted us to see her ten minutes ago." Katarina tried placating the Hand of Noxus with an aloof tone, but both roommates knew she didn't want her boyfriend to throw down and possibly get hurt in front of her.

"What does a Noxian even do today anyway? I bet you don't even have a date."

Darius was at a loss. He had no interest in romance at the moment, but there was no way Garen would ever believe him. Hell, he'd probably start thinking of him as a virgin or something. "Of course I have a date! It's... uh... LeBlanc."

Somewhere out there, a certain Deceiver choked on her tea.

The Might of Demacia smirked. "I know a lie when I see one."

"Oh yeah? Who's your date, asshole?"

Now it was Garen's turn to fall silent. He couldn't just say that he and Kat were a thing. It would throw Demacia into an uproar, if they found out that their paragon was dating one of the most infamous Noxian assassin's known to man. "I... uh..."

Darius sneered. "Looks like someone's got a date with Rosie Palms, if you know what I mean."

"Say that to my face, douchebag!"

"I just did, jackass!"

As the two women futilely attempted to pull apart the two infuriated men, Jhin groaned. "I bore of this posturing," he muttered with disdain, pulling one of his Dancing Grenades out of his pocket. It was surrounded with the faint pink glow of his bullets.

Yasuo raised an eyebrow. "That stuff works on your grenades, too?" He was answered with a shrug.

"Only one way to find out." The serial killer tossed the grenade onto the Demacian warrior's head, sending him reeling as it bounced onto Darius and then Katarina, flooring them as well. Lux quickly put up a wall of light just in time, the explosive bouncing off harmlessly.

"Wh-What? Garen? Guys? What happened?" Lux asked, furtively looking down at her fellow champions. With a groan, her brother managed to pick himself up. "Garen! Are you hurt?"

"Darius... did I mention that scar of yours is pretty sexy?"

Lux's eyes bugged out. "What."

Darius seemed to be coming around himself. "Uhn... That haircut of yours is just too cute, Garen."

Lux was thouroughly confused and getting more confused by the second. What the hell was happening?

"Hey... You wanna get some cupcakes from Panth's? We could share." Garen grinned stupidly, and Darius's attempt at a girlish giggle came off as an ominous chuckle.

"Awww, you charmer, you. Let's go." The two bitter rivals linked arms and strolled off for the Targonian's bakery, leaving a stupefied light mage behind.

"What the hell is this?! K-Kat, are you gonna do something about-" Lux froze as she heard a sultry chuckle behind her, and whirled around to see Katarina sporting an extremely deranged expression.

"Those lips of yours look so delicious, Luxy," she cooed, cupping the horrified mage's cheeks in her hands. "I could just bit them off... right... now..."

" **GOTTAGOBYE** " Lux barked, imprisoning the Noxian in a Light Binding before tearing off in the other direction at full tilt.

Katarina let out a sinister laugh as the Binding wore off. "You can run, but you can't hide from me, Luxy!" She teleported after the Demacian with a crazed cackle, who responded with shrieking and erratic casting of Light Binding and Lucent Singularity in a desperate attempt to slow down the lusting assassin.

Yasuo watched them leave with pity and worry in his eyes. "Will she be alright?"

Jhin shrugged. "Only time will tell, my friend. Onto the next one."

* * *

"Alright, anybody else, Jhin?"

"Hmm, Akali seems like a fair enough target. Although, I still need to go and buy some chocolates for Jinx... What to do, what to do..."

"You two."

Jhin and Yasuo spun around, weapons at the ready to confront the ominous speaker. Across the street was a mass of swirling black shadows, a murderous pair of red eyes shining through the darkness.

"What the hell is Nocturne doing out here?" The wanderer asked, puzzled.

The shadows dissipated instantly to reveal an enraged ninja pointing aggravatedly at the samurai. "Zed! I'm Zed, you moron!"

Jhin chuckled, and began to strut slowly towards the Master of Shadows. "Ah, if it isn't Zed. Come to finally take my life, now, have you?"

"Jhin... I should have known the bastard behind today's madness would be you..."

 ** _Wake me up_**

"Oh, so you do know. Wonderful."

"That's right, you monster."

 _ **Wake me up inside**_

"So I trust you've seen what I've done to Syndra, hm?"

Zed growled. "Don't you dare speak her name."

 ** _I can't wake up_**

"Why do you care so much, Zed? For all you do, it's as if you don't exist to her."

"Shut. Up."

 ** _Wake me up inside, SAVE ME_**

Both masked men spun around to the source of the noise, infuriated. **_"WHO IS DOING THAT?!"_**

Yasuo held his HexPhone in his hand as the edgy music continued to blare across the street, and shrugged. "Oh, come on, you guys sound like characters from a poorly-written shonen manga. Like, I could make a crappy AMV from this if I took a video."

Zed unsheathed his blades, murder in his eyes. "Enough of this idiocy! You fools shall fall today!"

The shadow ninja hurled his shurikens straight for Jhin's smiling mask. The mad artist sidestepped the attack with ease, and raised his gun level between Zed's glowing red eyes.

In a panic, Yasuo grabbed Jhin's arm. "Whoa, whoa, don't shoot him, Jhin! That magic crap is gonna work on him!" Jhin's eye narrowed into an irked squint.

Zed laughed sinisterly. "I know that almost every single weapon in Jhin's arsenal will make me fall head over heels in love with whoever I happen to be looking at. And I know you wouldn't dare try firing on me." Zed faded into wisps of shadow as an X formed over Yasuo's torso. **"GIVE UP! YOU'VE LOST!"**

Yasuo broke out into a sweat, looking around warily for where Zed would strike. "C-Crap, Jhin, what now?"

Jhin fingered his mask's chin thoughtfully. "We don't have much time. You'll have to trust me."

Without a moment's pause, the wanderer nodded. The psychopath set a Lotus Trap behind Yasuo's back.

Just as Zed charged in to strike.

The ninja cursed as the trap went off, and nimbly leapt out of the blast zone. Yasuo screamed and fell to his knees as the weakened, yet still potent Death Mark went off. Acting quickly, Jhin fired right as Zed landed, trapping him.

"This won't hold me forever, Jhin!" Zed growled, sheathing and unsheathing his blades tentatively.

Jhin looked at Zed with a reproachful look. "Of course it won't. Which is why I'm going to do this."

Jhin took Yasuo's HexPhone, and after fiddling with it for a few seconds, began playing a somber track of piano music made by Cho'Gath.

"Wh-What is this?!" Zed asked, confused at this odd ritual. For reasons he couldn't explain, he felt his chest begin to tighten.

Jhin turned back to look straight into Zed's eyes with a piercing gaze of utter disdain. Zed began to wheeze, his chest now constricting painfully. "What..."

The madman brought his hand up as though he was about to perform a karate chop, and brought it down like an axe, angled directly at Zed's face. In spite of the cloudless sky, a thunderclap echoed across the street. At once, Zed let out a massive cough and collapsed, convulsing as foam began to spill out from behind his mask.

"What the hell...?" Yasuo asked, staring at Zed in horror.

"A technique known as the 'telepathic roast.' The user assaults the victim by replaying the most embarrassing event of their memory in the their mind, over and over and over again. Apparently it was made by an ancient emperor of Shurima, whoever that may be." Jhin looked at the flailing form of Zed pitifully. "One can only imagine what happened to him to incite this kind of reaction."

* * *

" **CRAAAAAWLING IIIIIN MY SKIIIIIN!** " Zed screamed into his toothbrush, spinning madly in the shower as he belted out the lyrics to a song he had found while scrolling through Karthus's playlist. He'd been expecting to find some boring crap about death and only death, but this song? Oh boy, he had gotten hooked. He felt a little foolish, screaming while taking a shower, but it felt pretty fun, as well.

Feeling clean enough, he turned off the water and flung the shower curtains off with a flourish. **"THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEEEEAAAAA-"**

To be greeted with the sight of Kassadin staring at him with his HexPhone in his hands.

For a moment, neither of them moved. Then, Zed managed to find his words, staring at the Voidwalker, cmpletely mortified. "H-How... did you get in...?"

Kassadin cleared his throat. "Well, Malzahar thought it would be funny to jump me from behind a bush with a Voidling in his hands. I freaked out and teleported... well, here." He waggled the phone in his hands. "And I thought that this was some pretty cool stuff, so I streamed it."

"S-Stream...?"

"Yup. I think every champion in the League saw it, live and in 1080p. You know, you should really consider going into the music industry, as like, I dunno, a rap-"

After fully processing the words that had come out of Kassadin's mouth, Zed interrupted him with a massive **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

* * *

Yasuo lifted himself off the ground with a grunt and sheathed his blade. "Well, we'd better get going, Jhin. If Zed's onto us, then there's no telling who-"

"Hold, fiends!"

Yasuo groaned. "Just had to jinx it."

The two Ionians turned to see their new pursuer, and were greeted with the sight of Azir and Taric, standing imperiously at the other end of the street.

"The heavens see all you have done," Taric said, giving his mace a small twirl.

Yasuo sighed. "Oh, great, I bet these guys are here to put us in a stretcher for screwing with their day."

"I believe combat is the only option here, Yasuo," Jhin said, gesturing to the Sand Soldiers that had taken posts on either ends of the street. They were boxed in.

Azir brandished his scepter, giving rise to a small squad of Sand Soldiers. "You have ruined a day of love, happiness, and giving chocolate by mentally scarring countless with the image of a grinding Rammus, exerting your power to thoroughly humiliate many innocent champions, and traumatizing Luxanna Crownguard! You fools shall pay for your crimes!"

Yasuo began to back up, looking at the advancing soldiers warily as he slowly drew his sword. "Jhin, give me cover fire while I take out these things!"

"Why would I do that?"

Yasuo spun around incredulously. "Goddammit, do you want to get our faces bashed in?!"

"No. But there are four of them, see?" Jhin pointed back at the squad, and sure enough, there were four of them.

Yasuo felt like yanking his ponytail out. "Augh, fine! Just make sure those two don't try anything while I take these things out!" Fully unsheathing his sword, the wanderer sprinted at the four-man team of soldiers.

"Put him down!" Azir cried, commanding his soldiers to advance with a swing of his scepter.

Yasuo nimbly ducked under the thrust of one, and sidestepped another. He thrust his katana through a soldier's chest, reducing it to a clump of sand, before dashing through another and spinning to take it down as well. Two more. The samurai sent forth a spinning gale, sending them into the air.

"Igei ton!" Yasuo yelled, soaring into the air, dicing the sand warriors before slamming them into the pavement, finishing the job.

On Jhin's end, he continually laid down a storm of suppressive fire on Taric and Jhin. While his bullets failed to do anything to them due to the Aspect's shields, it gave him free reign to unload his entire arsenal and set down a minefield of Lotus Traps.

Azir's eyes narrowed. "Change of plans!" At once, a lone Sand Soldier charged Jhin with a pencil in his hand.

The madman put a hand to his mask as he brought the gun up, looking gleefully at the sprinting soldier. "Oh, don't make me laugh, emperor."

His mirth faded instantly as it raised the pencil, and revealed that one side of the wood had gone up to the tip, and the other side dipped far too low.

"Wh-What...?" The soldier pointed to the wall, where another soldier was putting up a picture. Lopsidedly.

Jhin began to shake as the gun fell out of his hand. He felt a pair of earbuds held to his ears. One bud made no sound. The psychopath fell to his knees as he was presented with a hoodie with one string longer than the other. A bag full of green candy, save for an evident pink one. A circular pizza cut into squares. Jhin's eyes rolled up into his head, and a white froth bubbled from behind his mask.

Yasuo's eyes widened. "Jhin?! **JHIN!"** Enraged, Yasuo began carving a path through the legion of Sand Soldiers to avenge his fallen comrade, ignoring the odd tightness in his chest and the faint sound of piano playing in the distance.

" **SPLIT!** " The soldiers dove out of the way, leaving a clear path between Yasuo and Azir, save for Taric.

Yasuo lunged straight for the Aspect, thrusting his katana for his chest. Taric conjured a shield that took the brunt of the attack, before swinging his mace, which went wide as Yasuo nimbly ducked under it.

"You're mine!" Yasuo roared, swinging his sword in a wide arc straight for the Demacian's side. Taric barely blocked it in time with a timely raise of his weapon.

Taric sighed as he became enveloped in the dazzling glow of his Cosmic Radiance. "Well, my friend, I hate to do this, but it seems that this is where we part ways."

The wanderer grinned and hefted his blade. "What do you mean? That thing won't last forever."

A pitying smile was on the Shield of Valoran's face. "This isn't to protect me from you. It's to protect me from him."

Blinking, Yasuo turned around to meet the withering gaze of the Emperor of the sands, an expression of sheer distaste on his avian features. Behind him, a sand soldier was playing a melancholy tune on a piano that had somehow been procured to the middle of the street.

The tightness in Yasuo's chest now became pain as he dropped his blade and began to shake. "N-No way... That emperor that Jhin was talking about... was...?"

Azir raised a hand to the sky. "Oh, so you know of this technique. As for whatever that miscreant friend of yours said, allow me to confirm.

 **"I created this technique."**

Azir brought his hand down. Yasuo felt his body seize up as he collapsed, before the world went black.

* * *

Yasuo needed to pee.

Unfortunately, the Fields of Justice didn't have a bathroom. Anywhere.

The wanderer gritted his teeth. As a vagabond who had spent years of his life on the run, taking a leak in a bush was nothing. Running the risk of being seen while taking said leak, was, however, something.

He made a passing glance over at the river. It was wreathed in shadows, and the odd bush littered the fringes of the stream. He could just hop in, take a quick piss, and get out without anyone noticing anything.

He looked over at his opponent in the top lane, Darius, who was busy attacking his minions to get some creeps. There was no way he could notice.

The Ionian took a ward in his hand, so as to make it look like he was just warding it, and ran into the bush. After hurriedly removing his pants, he let out a contented sigh as he relieved himself. After finishing, he got ready to hoist his pants around his waist.

Before Darius grabbed him with the hook of his axe.

"I could use an advantage like this," Darius said, smirking, as he raised his axe once again to strike.

Until he looked down, and noticed that Yasuo was missing an important piece of clothing. Darius froze. "I... I..."

Yasuo looked down in shame. "Just... needed to pee..."

A look of understanding dawned on Darius's face. "O-Oh, y-yeah, sure."

"Worry not, Yasuo, I'm on my way!" The wanderer became coated in the purple glow of Shen's ultimate, as expressions of panic came over the top laners' faces.

"Sh-Shen! Call it off, man, call it o-"

A brilliant flash of light, and Shen was there, standing between the two mortified fighters. "What's going on? Why would I need to – oh gods..." Shen turned around, and a look of disgust creased what could be seen of his face as he cringed. The Eye of Twilight spun around and clapped a hand on Darius's shoulder. "Nobody, not even a Noxian cur like you, deserves to get flashed by another man."

Yasuo paled. "N-No, it's not like that!"

Darius raised his hands in a pacifying gesture. "Guy just had to pee, you know how this damn place is!"

After a pause, Shen groaned and rubbed his temples. "Oh... Well, uh, I've just gotta... Get my red bu-"

"Easy prey!" Rengar roared, leaping out of stealth to assist Darius from Shen's misguided gank. The three men spun around it terror.

"A fine addition to my collect-" the Pridestalker began, before his good eye widened in shock upon seeing a pantless Yasuo. "What the actual fu – **SHIT.** " Rengar clipped the Scuttlecrab as he began to descend, making him haphazardly land face-first.

Right into Yasuo's crotch.

For about ten seconds, no man made a sound, with Rengar slowly peeling himself off of Yasuo's body. The other combatants, curious at the fiasco in the top lane, gaped as they saw something that only graced the pages of a hormone-addled attempt of drawing an Ionian yaoi manga.

At once, everyone on Summoner's Rift fell to their knees and let out ear-piercing shrieks that echoed out over the battlefield.

Yasuo's **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** however, was by and far the loudest.

* * *

When Yasuo woke up, he was greeted with the piercing stare of two blood-red eyes. The eyes pulled back, and they were revealed to belong to a pale and grinning face, framed with locks of neon blue hair.

Jinx. In a nurse outfit.

Yasuo instinctively tried to get up, but found that his arms were strapped down to an operating table. He began sweating uncontrollably as he began to hyperventilate.

"Hey, there, Ponytail! It's about time you stopped spazzing out!"

"Help... somebody please help..." Yasuo whimpered, trying his damn hardest to shrink away from the Loose Cannon.

"Aw, what's that look for, Ponytail? I've got all the scalpels, nuts, and bolts ready to make you in tip top shape!" She grinned as she held up a bonesaw and a set of rusty screws, making the wanderer start hyperventilating even worse.

"Jinx? I believe you're scaring him."

Yasuo craned his neck to find Jhin lying down in a bed. "Jh-Jhin?! Wh-What the hell is going on? How many blocks of C4 did she stitch into me?!"

"Approximately none."

"Righto! I mean, how could anyone cut through these bad boys? I bet you could stop a bullet with these!" She knocked lightly on Yasuo's abs to get her point across.

"What the hell are you even doing here?! How the hell did you even get a medical license?!"

Jinx binked as she pulled out her shock-blaster. "What's that supposed to be? When I heard Jhin-Jhin was in the hospital, I just mugged Akali with Zapper and stole her clothes."

Yasuo sighed and rested his head against the back of the table. "Oh, forget it. How long were we out?"

Jhin raised a hand to his mask. "Well, according to Jinx, Taric brought us here about an hour or so ago."

Jinx giggled. "Well, aaanyway, leeeeet's get riiiiight into the neeeeews!" She picked up her Hexphone, and began scrolling intently.

"First up, our headline! 'Ionian criminals ruin Valentine's Day!' Bummer."

Yasuo groaned. "This is gonna suck..."

"'Rammus grinds on tree!' Spicy!"

"Not spicy," the Ionians said in unison.

"'Aspect and fox hospitalized after duking it out for same man!' Sounds like a love triangleeeee!"

The wanderer would have winced If he wasn't strapped down. "Please stop..."

"'Shuriman emperor assaulted by angry Noxian for stealing his girl!' So many love triangles we're seeing today!"

"Hold the fuck on, assault?! Azir got assaulted?! Is he okay?!"

"Of course he's okay, Yasuo. He's the reason why we're even here right now."

"Oh, crap, right."

"Up next, 'Local Syndrelia fans rejoice after certain photos are uploaded to the Hexnet!'"

"Anything to say, Yasuo?" Jhin asked, raising an eyebrow. The wanderer just shrugged.

"'Noxian assassin hospitalized by Shuriman princess after chasing light mage!' 'Demacian and Noxian paragons drinking sorrows away after getting hit with the love bug!'"

Yasuo let out a breath. "Sivir saved Lux? Oh, thank the gods..."

"Jinx, what do you mean about the paragons, and love bug?"

"Oh, Darius and Garen decided to drink themselves under the table after finding themselves in the same bed."

The Ionians gaped. "Oh, gods."

"Well, I bet Gragas is happy, at least! And finally, 'Three Ionian criminals found incapacitated!'"

"Well, that's us."

"You betcha! Well, I don't have a medical license or whatever you were talking about, but I still know you need some rest after having some fun! I'll get you two some orange juice, so I'll be right back!" The Zaunite psychopath giggled before prancing out of the room, ready to butcher a poor set of fruits.

Yasuo sighed. "Well, that's that, then."

"Seems so, Yasuo. Varus also took back his outfit. Said something about 'never giving it to us again,' or something along those lines. Still, I had fun today. What about you, Yasuo?"

"Fun, huh?" Getting hospitalized wasn't really what Yasuo would call fun. But spending the day with the man who'd come to be his best friend, screwing around endlessly without a a care in the world?

Yasuo smiled. "Yeah, Jhin. Today was pretty damn fun."

* * *

Keemstar jokes are outdated, yeah. And I love Filthy Frank.

One and a half months and I'm back. I had some mock exams at school, and I needed to study for them, which is why I put writing in the backseat for a bit. But they're over, and I'm back. At least until May, which is when the real thing rolls around.

Like I said earlier, this is pretty much what Heartseeker Tales would be if you had an art-obsessed psychopath and a fugitive samurai replacing Varus. Be sure to check it out, along with other stuff Miss Yaoi Hands makes, since this chapter probably wouldn't exist without it, and because the stuff she makes is just plain great.

By the way, in case you're wondering, I'm actually using my bio page for personal status and stuff, so you can tell if I'm busy or just screwing around If it looks like I'm dead.

Anyway, thanks again for reading, and feel free to leave a review with your thoughts. Later.


	7. Chapter 7: A More Peaceful Snowdown

Snowdown had come to the League. Snow was falling across the entire Institute, which was laden with decorations. Fir trees from the Freljord had been carted in by Braum before they had been covered by Piltovan lights, and boughs of holly were hanging on every building. Massive throngs of people wandered through the streets, whether they were families, friends, or couples out to eat or do some shopping. Jinx, Draven, and Poppy, being the chosen Snowdown mascots for the year, were out doing what they did best, which was blowing things up, performing axe tricks, and giving children rides, respectively.

And in room 4444 of the men's champion dorms, were a certain pair of criminals/roommates who were currently waiting on their hot chocolate.

"Yasuo?"

"Yeah, Jhin?"

"Is the hot chocolate ready yet? I'm dying of thirst."

Yasuo grumbled as he looked at the display on their microwave. Thrity-four seconds to go. "Give it a little more time!"

"You said that two minutes ago!"

"It would have been ready two minutes ago if you didn't bug me about looking for our marshmallows! Now shut up and wait!"

The samurai sighed and leaned back against the counter, scratching an itch underneath a rather ugly sweater Taliyah had woven him for Snowdown. He knew she made it like that on purpose, but he still felt ashamed of himself whenever he looked down and saw the goofy Poro on his chest.

A loud beep from the microwave grabbed Yasuo's attention before he opened it and brought out two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. The wanderer gingerly set them down on the counter, and plopped some marshmallows into the drinks, along with a straw in one of them. Satisfied, he picked them back up and set off to the living room.

"About time," Jhin grumbled. The Golden Demon was lounging in an easy chair by the crackling fireplace, wearing an expensive maroon bathrobe along with his trademark mask.

"No need to be a douche," Yasuo muttered, handing him the mug with the straw. The assassin gladly accepted it, snaking the straw under his leather facemask and into his mouth before taking a sip.

"Ahhhh, perfection," he breathed, leaning his head back in bliss. "And you even remembered my four marshmallows."

"You would've thrown a fit if I didn't," said Yasuo, lowering himself down to take a seat on his bedroll.

The two men sipped contentedly at their cups, relishing the flavor of the piping hot drink in their hands.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Jhin said, breaking the silence.

Yasuo blinked. "Huh? Since what?"

"Since the day we met. Since the day we became roommates. It's hard to believe that it's been more than an entire year."

"A whole year and then some..." The wanderer whistled. "Sure as hell didn't feel that long to me, you know? Hard to believe that so much time's passed."

"It is, now that you mention it. So many things have happened since then..." A thought crossed Jhin's mind. "Do you remember Valentine's day? That was certainly very fun. We got Garen and Darius to sleep together, if I remember Jinx's news report correctly."

Yasuo shuddered. "Without that garbage outfit of Varus's, Rammus humping a tree, and the fact that Azir put us in the hospital because of your OCD and my PTSD? Well, yeah, it was pretty great. I kinda liked Snowdown more."

The Virtuoso grimaced. "I got crushed underneath that Demacian oaf and the Noxian wench. I don't think my back has managed to completely fix itself yet."

Yasuo raised an eyebrow. "What are you mad about? You slept with Jinx that night."

"I wouldn't say 'slept.' I'd actually need some sleep to say that, which she deprived me of, as it so happened."

"Would've thought you of all people would think it was worth it." Yasuo grumbled, before taking a long sip. "Well, what about that basketball game we went to? The one that went horribly wrong."

"Everything goes horribly wrong when we're involved, but yes, that one in particular was quite bad. It was good that Kolminye said we didn't have to pay for anything."

"Yeah, I heard Caitlyn jumped down Vi's throat the moment she got released from the hospital," said the samurai, popping a marshmallow in his mouth. "Remember that time we got shit-faced drunk? That day was completely nuts."

"It was quite absurd, yes... Tryndamere beating up a small army to sober himself-"

"You throwing porn at Elise's disciples-"

"First of all, that wasn't **porn** , those were pinups. Second of all, they weren't disciples, they were her food."

"Fine, pinups and food. And then we had to rescue Garen with Talon."

Jhin threw his free hand into the air in disgust. "Ugh, do you need to remind me? We had to strangle Lulu, got our covers blown thanks to Quinn's pet vulture, nearly got murdered by a mob of angry women, fought a **dragon** , and finally got to see the sight of Garen porking Talon's sister. Never in my life have I been in a more outrageous situation."

"But you had fun though."

"... I suppose I did, yes. That day, ridiculous as it was, was incredible."

"Yeah... funny how the day after some hard drinking feels too wierd to be true."

"Mmmm..." The murderer hummed softly, before going silent. "Yasuo?"

"Uh-huh?"

"I need to ask you something... important." Jhin's eye lost its jovial shine, and was now grave and serious.

Yasuo swallowed, on edge. Whatever Jhin needed to ask him, it was probably very important. "... Go ahead."

"Why did you come back?"

"Huh?"

The serial killer pulled the straw out of his mouth. "Do you remember the day we met? Truly?"

Yasuo set his mug down, confused. "Well, how could I forget the day I met a complete nutter like you?"

Jhin ignored the offhanded insult and continued. "I remember going off on a tangent about killing Zyra that seemed to perturb you immensely. I had a feeling you wouldn't come back, but you did. Why is that, if I scared you that much?"

The Unfogiven blinked, before sighing and staring into the dancing flames of the fireplace. "To tell you the truth? That day, when I first got to actually meet you... I thought you were a freak. A monster. Some psychotic degenerate who only cared about killing and killing some more."

"Then, well, I ran into Yi, and he told me to go back. Give you a second chance. And I did. And there you were, puking your guts out after eating four Top-Tarts."

Jhin raised an eyebrow. "And that changed your opinion of me how?"

"Well, seeing the most feared serial killer in all of Ionia getting sick off a kid's snack can change someone's opinion about him pretty quickly."

Jhin's eyes narrowed in what seemed to be embarrassment and annoyance. "… I see."

A thought seemed to pass Yasuo's mind. "… Have you actually ever eaten anoth-"

"I still feel an insurmountable joy when I shoot Fiora or Renekton in the head."

"… So no then."

The room went quiet, save for the crackling of the fireplace and the small sips the two men took at their cups.

"...Yasuo?"

"Yeah?"

"You said that your opinion changed, didn't you?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"What's your opinion of me now, then, if not a 'psychotic degenerate', as you put it?"

Yasuo turned to look at Jhin, whose head was tilted inquiringly. "Well, if you really want to know..."

"You're probably the biggest fucking dumbass I have ever met in my entire life."

Jhin blinked, before leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes, seemingly pondering Yasuo's words, before letting out a short, barking laugh.

"Did anyone ever say you had a funny way of complimenting people?"

"Who said that was a compliment?"

The two roommates burst into laughter, Yasuo slapping the wooden floor and Jhin pulling his mask off as they guffawed. Eventually the two calmed down, save for a few stray chuckles.

Jhin reattached his mask to his face before clearing his throat. "Yasuo?"

"Hm?"

"Wherever did our deck of cards go? I think I'm in the mood for some Go Fish." A lighthearted glint was in Jhin's visible eye as he got off his chair.

Yasuo felt a smile tugging at his mouth as he got up. "You gonna ask me for some fours again?"

"Don't forget 4 minus 1."

The two friends smiled. It was an odd sight: two men, one a deranged, masked serial killer garbed in a bathrobe face to face with a fugitive samurai in an ugly sweater, grinning broadly at the other as the fire crackled away next to them and steam wafted from their mugs.

But the truest friendships tend to be the oddest ones.

"Merry Snowdown, Jhin."

"Merry Snowdown, Yasuo."

* * *

 **It's been a while, huh?**

 **First off, I'm really thankful to you guys for not forgetting me ever since I dropped off the radar in May. A lot of stuff happened to me in the last seven months, which I'm** **gonna** **get to in a bit, but I'm just happy that people still read my stuff, and I'm sorry for leaving you all hanging for so long.**

 **Anyway, the last seven months. Towards the end of May and for the first half of June, I was doing my final exams for school year. Understandably, I had to stop writing for a bit. And then those got over, and I was getting ready to start writing again.**

 **And then came the news that we were moving. From India all the way to the United States.**

 **The next two months were just me seeing my friends with every waking hour, and spending as much time as I possibly could have before I left in the middle of August.**

 **And then there I was, in America, moving into a new home, joining a new school, getting used to my subjects, making new friends, and everything else that involved moving. Then came my SATs, and then most recently, the fall finals. Now, after another five months, its winter break, and I've finally managed to sit down and get a new chapter ready for Christmas.**

 **And, well, that's my excuse for not uploading a single thing for more than half a year. It's flimsy at best, but it's all I have.**

 **This year was fun. So much stuff happened in the past twelve months. A bizarre US presidency, a new season of RWBY, my move, Ardent Censer ruining a meta and Worlds along with it, SKT getting dethroned by SSG, another wonky preseason, and now, 2017 is nearly over. I wish I could have spent more time with you guys during it.**

 **As for the next year, I hope I can regularly upload again, and hopefully not disappear for seven months like this year. I wish you all the very best as the year draws to a close, and I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and Snowdown!**

 **Also, play this game called Closers: Dimension Conflict, whose Ranger character is a top tier** **waifu** **.**

 **PS : tfw Fanfiction gave me error messages trying to upload. This was supposed to be out on Christmas =(**


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